The Missing Lighthouse
by The Blue Darling
Summary: All Carlisle has is one summer. One summer to show Jasper what family is, that he is a part of it, and he is loved. And one summer to guide Jasper in the right direction, to make sure he dosen't end up like his father... to make sure he has a furture. Warning this story will contain disiplinary spanking, you have been warned. All human.
1. Chapter 1

_All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer_

A story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 1

Jasper's P.O.V

* * *

"He's your uncle Jasper, you have to give him a chance!" Maggie tried to talk to sense into me, for what must be the third time today... not to mention all the other times she has tried over the last week.

"But I don't want to be there!" I sighed frustrated, and leaned against the window, hoping it would open magically making me fall out of the car.

Then I wouldn't have to go to fucking Forks, with fucking Mr. Perfect and his family.

"I know" sighed Maggie, not even look on me, as she parked in a spot in front of the airport, and turned the engine off. "But they are family, and they really want to give you a chance," she smiled, and tried to squeeze my hand, but I pulled it away before she could.

"It's not me who should ask for a chance, but them," I muttered, a bit irritated, because Maggie tried to make them seem like some kind of savior.

Ever since Maggie found my biological family, she had been over the moon acting like this was the happy ending I needed. The truth was she saw this as _her_ happy ending... away from me. For me this was some kind of dickhead, who would try to make me a good person, before he sent me back... saying I was too wired or shattered... or what do I know.

But Maggie thought this was my final stop. She thought they would accept me, because my father fucked my mother by mistake, and it would be their duty to take care of me, now that he's dead.

Yeah, something else that sucked... the dickhead who also was my father, was dead. He knew I was alive, but did he ever check up on me himself? No.

"Jasper I know you don't see them as family, but this could really change everything for you," tried Maggie, and took her seatbelt off, probably eager to get rid of me... at least for the summer.

I didn't mind Maggie at all... she was actually kind of nice, but a bit irritating at times. She had been my social worker since I was eight... So I guess you could say we know each other well now, not that it really matters. For Maggie, I am just another file on her desk, and for me she is just the person who finds me the next place to sleep...

It's actually that simple.

"But I don't want to be a part of their perfect little world, and I don't want to go to Forks, why can't you just find me a new foster home here in Dallas?" I asked a bit irritated, because she just wouldn't see... I am not meant for that shitty place, at all!

"Jasper we have been through this so many times!" sighed Maggie. "It's already been proven you are Garrett Cullen's son, we even had a DNA test done, and as his family they have some rights Jasper. If you were adopted by someone else, it would have been complicated, but you are still a foster child. And if they knew you existed it would have been different too, but they didn't know about, before two months ago.."

"My Father knew about me for years," I interrupted, and tried to justify this... but Maggie just smiled sadly.

"Your father did, yes... but your family didn't, so I am sorry, but they have a right to at least know you," she told me, and tried to give me a comforting smile... but it didn't work. "Listen Jasper, it's just over the summer, not the rest of your life. They just want to know you, and see who you are... no one says you have to stay there forever," she tried, but I wasn't stupid.

"But you would love it if I was adopted by them, wouldn't you!" I hissed, and crossed my arms, trying to think of an escape plan before I reached Forks.

"I would love to see you in a good healthy environment yes," sighed Maggie, knowing I knew exactly what she meant. "And I would love to see you in a place full of love, with people who truly are family, and take care of you," she told me opening her door to get out. "And I have met these people Jasper, they are just what you need. Your uncle and aunt are lovely people, who could do a world of good for you," she told me, and closed the car before I could protest.

"But I don't love them," I tried to argue, as I got out of the car too, and grabbed my bag with my belongings from the backseat.

"You haven't even met them yet," reminded Maggie, and locked the car.

"I Googled them... they didn't look like my type!" I protested, and followed her into the airport.

"You _Googled_ them?" Asked Maggie with a smile, and looked like she was about to laugh...

"Yeah... Well, yes," I admitted, and followed her to the line of people, waiting to check in. "But they didn't look nice," I defend myself, and I can't believe I just admitted that...

But what was I supposed to do? Maggie came only a week ago, and told me the _Great_ _news_, and the fact I was going on vacation with them, but there is no information that could give me a clue about who they truly are. Just some stupid names, and how much they looked forward to see me.

So yes I _Googled_ them. I Googled fucking Doctor Cullen and his family, and I Googled my own father, just to realize I looked like them... and I didn't like it one bite. I shared their light hair color, the blue eyes, and sharp face... not to mention the same hard smile.

But the hard smile was just me and my father. The rest of them looked all soft and lovingly, which scared me even more... because I can't take that fucking sweet smile, or attitude. It was most likely just a mask of how they really felt... they just hid their hard smile better than my father and I.

But Google could only tell me Doctor Cullen... or my _uncle_, and his wife, lived in Seattle with their child, and worked at a hospital nearby. He was a well-paid surgeon, and a good doctor, who was recommended by many, and had a heck of an education behind him. His wife... Esme I think, was an architect or something, but no matter what well paid too. And together they owned way too much, including a big house in Forks, that they spend their vacations in.

Big shitty rich people like them don't come out of nowhere. They had money because my father Garrett and Doctor Cullen's father, Edward Sr. Cullen who had this huge company, and the old man was still alive. Way too old to work, but he still worked every fucking single day, and made his fortune bigger and bigger.

Google told me that, and a lot of other boring things about the company, and in my eyes they couldn't get more irritating and perfect, at least on the outside. The truth was they were cold people, who took people like me on vacation, so the rest of the world thought they were good... I am just a lost puppy to them.

"Don't believe in everything Google tells you," Maggie told me with a smile interrupting my thoughts, as we reached the desk ready to get my plane ticket.

This was my first time on a flight, or just in an airport, and to be honest, I was fucking nervous! I mean, what if the plane crashed? What if something was wrong with the damn thing, or the pilot was drunk? What if they arrested me in security?

So many questions and fears, all in one stupid teenager's head, and the truth was none of it would happen...

But no matter how many times I told myself that, I couldn't let go of my fear.

Maggie took care of everything, and before I knew it, I saw my luggage drive away, no one else knowing what was inside. Maggie even checked it before it was closed, but she wasn't smart enough to check my dear old teddy bear.

I didn't really own much... to be honest I only owned three pair of pants, and a few shirts... But that was okay. It was easier to travel with. But, I did own this stupid old stuffed teddy bear, Maggie gave to me the first time I met her. Back then it was new and clean. She told me it was mine, so no matter what happened, he would always be my friend...

Another way to say your life will be lonely.

But as a eight year old... Teddy bears are just out of fashion. For a long time, I just dragged it around to make her happy, every single time I needed to move to a new home... and I guess it made her happy.

But two years later, I finally found a propose for my dear friend. It was around then I began to smoke, and when my foster mother at the time found out, she thought it was the end for me. She actually called Maggie and told her I was a drug-addict, which earned me a tour to the hospital...

Just for some stupid Doctor to say I was clean, but nedded to stop smoking.

I ended up in another foster home, and to make sure last times events didn't happen again, I made my dear Teddy bear keep a secret, and placed cigarrets inside him. Maggie wasn't exactly thrilled about my smoking habit, so the best thing to do was just to keep quiet about it, and she would leave me alone. Of course there was a few accidents, not to mentioned that one time I came home to my foster parrents drunk, or that one time I woke up in the hospital... with an overdose of heroin.

But, my dear old outworn Teddy bear could keep most secrets. Unfortantly I couldn't hide any alchol or drugs in my bag, but the cigaretts was enough, until I got hold of some drugdealer of a sort. Peter had the most incredible contacts sometimes, and promised to send someone to Forks...

And here Maggie thought I wouldn't have any contact to that kind of things, when I got to Forks...

She was in for a surprise.

As Maggie finished checking me in, she turned around, and guided me over to something called security check, where some buff guys stood behind a metal detector.

Good thing everything was in my bag.

"Jasper, please just give this a chance," begged Maggie, after she instructed me how to get through sercurity, and where to find my gate. She really sounded like a fucking hysterical mother, who was about to send her child away for the first time. But being sixteen, I was old enough to travel alone...

Not to mention there was no escape. Someone would be just beside me the moment I got out of Seattle airport, and wouldn't leave my side before I was in Forks.

"You know I don't want a family," I told her honestly, and squeezed my ticket a bit... mostly because I'm nervous.

"I know, but this is your real family, so just try, for me, okay?" She asked, and looked like this was a final goodbuy, but for me it was just a month away from Dallas.

"I will try," I told her, but in truth I didn't promise anything... Because it wasn't going to be more than a summer. This family of mine, they only did this to honor my dad, who definitely didn't even love me, and they would realize that soon...

But this made Maggie happy, and Maggie had always been there, paid or not.

Maggie and I said our goodbyes, not that it was very touching... or at least not for me, but I guess it was for her, I still couldn't see why she was crying. But, at last, she finally allowed me to leave and I walked through security, away from everything I knew. One of the buff Security guys gave me a hard stare as I walked by, but that was everything, and they allowed me into the gate.

So yes I could maybe run away... somehow, probably... but what would it help? These Cullens where powerful people, like it or not, and if they wanted me as their lost puppy... I would give them a lost puppy.

Because as evil as this was, it was their fault... they did this to me... or my father did. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be born, and if I wasn't born, I wouldn't have to deal with this shit called life. And since my father was dead I couldn't make him feel my pain...

So I was going to let the rest of them see who I really was, what a monster I was.

At the end of the summer I am going to make them wish I wasn't born, and curse my father because he was the one who gave me life.

I would make sure they never forgot my name.

* * *

So this was my first chapter, and please remember this is a spanking story. If you don't like that, you should stop reading here. You have been warned.

And to all those who love Alice, i can't say if she is going to appear or not, but this is mostly about Jasper and Carlisle and his family... Not really about romance ;)

and thank you to my beta sgswan15, who is doing an amazing job :D

please review :)


	2. Chapter 2

A story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 2

Carlisle's P.O.V

* * *

_May this haunt you to the end of the world, Garrett fucking Cullen!_ I cursed in my head, as I nervously tried to locate my nephew.

This task would have been easy enough, if I actually knew the boy. Yes I had seen pictures... even once seen him at a distance, but he could have changed a lot since then, and he had no idea what I looked like.

Suddenly I regretted the fact that we never sent a photo... it would surely have helped a lot now.

I checked my phone for the fifth time, just to make sure no one was trying to get in contact with me. Esme and the kids were already in Forks, so I shouldn't expect to hear from them anytime soon...

If only work would call me now... tell there had been a huge accident... anything!

But I would be the last one they would call. They knew this was my vacation, and as head of the staff, they wouldn't dare to interrupt my vacation.

But right now I would prefer work over family.

With a sigh I pinched my nose, and checked my watch once more. His flight only arrived ten minutes ago, so I wouldn't see him anytime soon... but it didn't make me any less nervous. Would he even see me, where I sat in Starbuck? It was just beside the door they exited, but would he see me?

I wondered if I should buy him a cup of coffee, did he even like coffee? Maybe he would be glad to have something to drink in the car... or maybe he wouldn't care at all.

If Garrett wasn't dead, it wouldn't be me who was sitting here, waiting nervously on a stranger, who actually was close family.

We always thought my idiot of a brother was childless, and to be honest, I always thought it was better that way. Garrett wasn't good with children, and he didn't even like them... actually he didn't like much, except himself.

So when he was fifty, I thought we were safe. There was no wife, and no children... only Garrett we had to take care of. No crying lonely children, or sad drunk wives. Just Garrett who was a sad excuse, but at least alone.

Garrett was a drunken asshole, without a future. The real problem was probably Dad who always saw him as the heir to his company. As the oldest it was Garrett's duty and responsibility, but Garrett was just not meant to be behind a desk. That became clear when he joined the army, only to come home a 6 months later, with a foot who that was damaged for life. The doctors couldn't fix it, so he would always be in pain.

Which made him drink... heavily. After he got home, we rarely saw him anymore, and when we did he was always drunk, or about to be drunk.

And at first you always try to help, but at eventually you just give up, because he chose this.

Even our dad realized it wasn't the best to let him take over, and I was a doctor, so it was clear I wasn't going to take over.

And Garrett just became more and more of a drunk, until we all knew he slowly was killing himself. That's when I realized it was a good thing Garrett never had a wife, or any children, it would hurt them to watch what he was doing to himself.

Or that was what I thought, until Christmas last year.

You see, it's a family tradition that everyone goes to Forks for the Christmas break, and we celebrate it as a family at our house. Esme made that tradition, and not even Garrett would dare to cross her, so everyone comes, snow or not.

In November, of that year, we all convinced him as a family that it was time to stop drinking, and to start on antabus. So when he showed up on Christmas morning, we all thought he would be sober...

But Garrett Cullen had never been as drunk, as he was that morning. It turned out he stopped antabus two days after he started, and started drinking even more heavily, and the more he drank, the less he thought about what he was saying.

And from the moment he came inside our house, he said a lot of nonsense... we couldn't understand half of it, but he said the name _Jasper_so many times, it was clear it meant something to him.

And when we asked who Jasper was, he said, '_my son, of course'.._. like we should have known.

The next day, he refused to have ever heard about a _Jasper_.

I shook my head sadly, and looked down at my watch. He would come out soon, so I took a last sip of my coffee, before I threw it out, and went over to where the arrivers would exit. For a last time I checked to make sure that my blue polo shirt looked as it should, before I paid attention to the crowd. At work I mostly wore more formal clothes, but this was vacation, and I was trying to look relaxed.

Every time a huge group came out, I tried to see if any of them was Jasper, but none of them were. Seattle was a huge airport, so of course it would take some time, but I began to wonder if I should call Maggie, his social worker, and get his phone number.

But just as I was about to get nervous, he entered the room.

He probably didn't see me at first, but for a moment I thought I saw a young Garrett again. He had the same face, the same skin color, and he walked the exact same way Garrett did, like he owned the world. He was wearing sunglasses, so I couldn't see his eye color, but I already knew they would be blue.

He was tall, but very slim, and even though I could see some muscles, it was clear he was very skinny. The only thing that was hiding it was an old shirt, and a leather jacket that was too old, and probably not even made from leather.

I could see him as he looked around, confused for a moment, before he turned around and to look straight at me, lowering his sunglasses a bit, so he could see me clearly.

And as I stared into those blue eyes, there was no doubt in my mind... this was my nephew Jasper.

A bit awkward we stood there, and stared at each other a moment, before I took a step toward him, and we met on the middle. I could see he was carrying a small bag with him, but I must admit I was a bit surprised if that was everything... It wasn't even a suitcase.

"You must be Jasper," I said nervously, and tried to give him the best smile I could muster, as we shook hands. I figured that a hug would be a bit too much, at least for now, and he didn't look like he wanted a hug.

"And you must be Carlisle," he said with a deep voice, that for a moment made me think he was much older than sixteen.

"Yes that's correct, I'm your uncle," I smiled, and hoped he would call me uncle... and not Carlisle, he was family after all.

"Nice to meet you I guess," he said with the same neutral deep voice, and released my hand, looking like a real teenager that didn't care at all.

For a moment I didn't know what to do. To be honest, I thought he would be a bit more excited about meeting me than this, and right now he looked mostly like a bored teenager, who thought this was hell. He had this whole, I_am too cool to be near you_ attitude I didn't like, but this wasn't really the place to talk about that.

"Why don't we go over to the car?" I offered, and tried to take his bag, but he made it clear I wasn't getting near it.

"Sure," he muttered, with that _I don't care_ attitude, and followed me over to the parking lot, which was on the other side of the airport. As soon as he saw my black Mercedes, I could see he was impressed for a moment, but he never said a thing as we got his bag in the trunk, and got into the car.

"So kid, have you ever been in Seattle?" I asked as I started the car, and drove out of the parking lot. I was trying to make conversation, not that he seemed to be interested in any sort of conversation. Actually he looked pretty annoyed because I talked to him, and called him _kid,_but I was going to ignore that, and give him a chance. Normally I didn't like this attitude, but he was new, and I would give him some time.

"No... I haven't been outside Dallas," answered Jasper coldly, and stared out of the window, to avoid any eye contact with me. It was clear he didn't like me one bit... but he could at least try to be social.

"Oh I see, then it must be nice for you to come out, and see a different place?" I asked friendly, and turned the car on the highway, away from Seattle.

"I guess so," muttered Jasper, but sounded like he just wanted to go home. "How long is this drive anyway?" He asked annoyed, like a grumpy teenager, who clearly didn't appreciate my company.

"Around four hours maybe a bit more... depends on how fast we can get on the ferry," I answered, and regretted instantly I didn't try to tone it down.

"Are you serious?" He asked with huge eyes, and looked on me like I had three eyes. "_Four_ _fucking_ _hours_ to get there? Couldn't you just find somewhere closer?" He asked in disbelief, and looked like I just told him he was going to die.

But it bothered me he was using words like _fuck_. I didn't accept such a language in my house or my car... and defiantly not from my children. Jasper was maybe not my child, but he was my nephew, and he was under my roof for the summer, so I guess it was best to put a stop to it, before he thought it was okay to speak with those manners.

"Well first of all I grew up in Forks, and so did your dad. We didn't move to Seattle before I was fifteen. So this is a family place, and even though it's a long ride, it's worth it... you will see," I assured him, and prepared myself for the more bitter part. "And secondly, I don't want to hear such horrible language in my presence. We might as well make it clear now, that words like _fuck_, _shit_, and whatever else you can come up with, isn't acceptable. It's not a nice way to say things, and it shows very little respect for the people around you," I told him, and tried not to be stern, but it was hard.

It was clear Jasper wasn't used to be reprimanded by anyone, and looked confused for a moment, before he realized I just gave him a rule he needed to follow. I didn't expect he was very well mannered, but I still thought someone had told him things like this before. Jasper looked like this was the first time someone ever told him to stop cursing.

"Whatever you say," he muttered, and continued to look out of the window, in order to avoid eye contact. I really wanted to tell him I preferred people looked on me when we spoke, but this was enough for now.

I was fully aware Jasper wasn't going to come with good manners, and be a good boy. Actually I was quiet sure before I even met him, that there would be some adjusting along the way, if he was anything like his father.

The day after Garrett admitted he had a son, we tried to question him about it, but he denied everything, and got drunk two hours later. Both my dad and I were however sure there was a son, somewhere, because Garrett was always way too honest when he was drunk.

Because Garret was drunk anyway, we decided to drive back to Seattle, and look through his personal belongings in his house. Esme promised to keep Garrett back in Forks, so he didn't go home... not that it was hard, since Garrett didn't know we were at his house in Seattle.

And to be honest, it wasn't an easy task finding anything, except empty bottles, in his house. But at last we finally found a picture of a small boy... no more than four years old. It was clear it was an old photo, but along with it we found a letter from what had to be the mother... begging for help.

I don't know if it ever was answered, but it was enough for me to confirm Garrett had a son, and we tried to confront Garrett again, but he refused to say anything about it.

So instead we contacted J. Jenks, a private detective and an old friend. We more or less allowed him to go through Garrett's life, and two months later he found the boy... alive and in the foster system. Nobody knew where the mother was, or if she was dead, but at least he was alive.

A lot of reading followed this. Jenks got all papers he could find on Jasper, and I more or less read his life on paper.

And to be honest, it sounded like a horrible life.

From what I could read, he ended up in the foster system at eight years old. Before that he lived with his mother on the streets, and there was no birth records, or any signs that he had been born at a hospital, or that there was a doctor present. It was only from police interviews with Jasper, that they actually knew he was with his mother, until he was eight, when she left him in the middle of the night.

And after that there was a long list of foster homes, and from what I could see he had never been anywhere for very long. His foster parent's complained about he was too violent, too lonely, and didn't trust anyone. At the start he had some horrible temper tantrums, and one landed his foster father at the time in the hospital, with a horrible gash.

So after eight years old, Jasper moved more times than I could count, and wasn't at the same school for very long either. Because of this, he ended up with very poor social skills, and there were many hospital reports, telling about fights that didn't end well for him.

One of them gave him a scar that still was very clear. On his cheek, a red line that stopped inches before his mouth, made by a knife, and from the report it had been deep.

All this gave me and my father a very clear picture, of a confused young man, who really needed stability, and a firm hand. Not to mention reports about drug use, smoking, and illegal drinking.

All these things just proved he was like his father, and when we confronted Garrett again, he denied everything once more, saying it was a mistake, and Jasper wasn't his son by any means.

I already knew what I would see, but still I took the first ticket I could to Dallas, and tracked him down. I couldn't get close, but I just needed to see if he was okay, or needed help. When I found Jasper, he wasn't in very good condition, totally drunk, and definitely on some kind of drugs. I had to pay a taxi, and tell the driver to get him to the nearest hospital, since I couldn't get too close myself... but it was clear Jasper Whitlock didn't live well.

When I got home I told my dad about it, and we tried once again to talk with Garrett, but no matter what I said he wouldn't listen. I tried to explain how he was living, and offered to take care of him. But Garrett wouldn't have anything to do with the boy, and refused to do anything about his situation.

And so my life went on for some months. I was desperate to help the boy, and after every report I received from J. Jenks about his condition, I got more frustrated. Garrett refused to admit it was his son, no matter what we did... but then it happened.

We actually knew it would happen at some point, but it still hurt when my father called, and told us Garrett was dead. His caretaker found him, dead because of years of drinking, and a heart attack. But what was sadder was he was found with a bottle in one hand, and the picture of Jasper in the other. The 10th of May 2014 my brother died, but on the same day we received a new opportunity.

Officially, the story was that my father was by his side when he died, and Garrett told him about Jasper. We had never heard about him before that, and no one knew about my visit in Dallas. In our lie, it was Garrett's wish we took care of him now, so soon we contacted his Social worker, and a lot of paperwork followed.

I just wanted to adopt him on the spot, but I knew it wasn't that easy, and we made an agreement about him coming to Forks, and spend the summer with us. Before we even got a chance to get near him, we had to go through a lot of steps, a lot like when you become a foster parent, the process was just sped up, because he was family.

And now he was here, safe with family.

The whole ride from the airport to the ferry was made in silence, and it was clear Jasper didn't want to talk, so I allowed him just to be in peace for a bit. He was probably trying to catch up with everything, and accept where he was, and I understood he needed time.

After the ferry we drove for an hour, before I decided it was time for lunch, and turned off the highway, toward Sequim, a small town. We would often stop there to get lunch on our way, and I decided to take Jasper to our favorite restaurant, where everything was homemade. Jasper looked a bit skeptical as I parked in front of, _The Willow_, but didn't say anything. The building was something like an old cottage, and made the place look friendly and comfortable.

"I thought it would be nice to get some lunch," I explained Jasper, as we got out of the car. He had been silent until now, but I thought when I stopped the car he would at least ask why, but he didn't, so then I just had to explain.

"Oh... Sure," he muttered, and followed me inside. We was seated fast by the owner, who made sure we got a table a bit away from everybody else, and handed us the menus. This was thankfully not a crowded day, so I had a chance to chat a bit with Jasper.

"So order whatever you want," I told him with a smile, and thought it would be nice to for him to have a big healthy meal. He wasn't overly skinny, but a bit too much for my liking... Esme was definitely going to change that. "Everything by the way is homemade... one of the reasons why Esme and I like this place so much," I informed him, and could see that there was no impression in his eyes,

"Sound nice," he muttered quietly, but it was still very clear he didn't care.

I studied him very carefully over my own menu, as he went through the menu. It was very clear from his grades he didn't do well in school at all, and since he didn't go to school before he was eight, I could imagine he never got a great start. I even had a report from one of his teachers when he was twelve, stating he couldn't even do simple math, or read a few lines.

And as he read the menu, or pretended to read it, it was clear he couldn't read very well. I could see it frustrated him that he couldn't understand what it said, and this restaurant didn't serve things like burgers and hotdogs.

"Don't they have a normal cheeseburger?" He asked after a few minutes, and I could sense that was one of a few things he could read.

"Unfortunately not," I smiled sadly, and decided not to ask into his reading problems right now. "Why don't you try their salmon instead?" I suggested, and thought it would be good for him with something healthy.

"Uh... no thanks dude, I don't eat fish," he answered, and tried to read the menu again, but it was clearly hopeless.

Doesn't eat fish, huh?

"Have you ever tasted it?" I asked patiently, and felt as if I was speaking to a five year old.

"Not really," he admitted, and blushed a bit, but I was beginning to feel he didn't eat regular, and when he did, it was junk-food. "I am more into fries and burgers," he explained.

"Yes, but you must eat something else," I tried, and really hoped he ate more healthy food sometimes, but it didn't look like that was the case.

"Not really... I eat pizza sometimes, or kebab..." He said, and even he could tell that it wasn't exactly the answer I wanted to hear.

"And your foster parents allow that?" I asked with disbelief, and knew if they did, I would very soon be in contact with his social worker Maggie.

"Well not really... I don't eat very often with them," he tried to explain, and even I could sense he was beginning to get uncomfortable. "I mostly just eat with my friends at burger king or something..." He muttered, and even though I wanted to dig more into this, I decided to leave him alone for now.

I was beginning to realize he was living very unhealthily in many ways, mostly because no one ever told him it was wrong. I was even beginning to doubt he knew what a real meal was, or if his taste buds were as developed as they should be at his age.

"Well, then I think you will get a new taste for food this summer," I smiled, and tried to find another way to say there was no burger king in Forks. "And there is a first time for everything, so maybe you should try salmon today?" I suggested.

The truth was Jasper was in a lot worse condition than I thought, and this summer was going be hard on both of us...

But I wasn't going to give up.

* * *

So thanks to my Beta, who is doing a wonderful job :D

And please Review, share you thoughts, and make me happy :D


	3. Chapter 3

A story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 3

Jasper's P.O.V

* * *

So one thing is pretty shitty fucking clear… I hate Carlisle Cullen!

I mean… everything around him is just so… irritating! He acts as if he is perfect all the time. '_Pick whatever you want from the menu Jasper, because I know how poor your life has been Jasper, so please let me show you how kind I am… Jasper!' _

Fucking asshole.

I didn't like him from the moment I saw him. With his combed short blond hair, white teeth, and expensive clothes. All just to tell everyone was rich, not to mention his expensive car and watch. And then at the same time, he had the nerve to look on me, and judge my clothes and hair... like I wasn't good enough.

I could sense how he was going through every small part of me, as soon as we met. He noticed my greasy hair, my old clothes, outworn shoes… and I swore he just noticed a moment ago I can't read. It's a thing I normally hide very well, but it felt like he looked right through the lie.

He was judging me all the time, to see if I was good enough to be near his family.

And now he didn't approve of my eating habits either, like it's his fucking decision.

So yes I do admit I don't read very well, never interested me, and never will. Not to mention there hasn't been any supportive teachers, or people to help me. And my food habits… well I don't even eat with my foster parents, so maybe they do eat healthy food, but I am not a part of it. Most of the time I just use their house to sleep in, before I go back out to find Peter and his gang.

Peter is our leader. He is the one who gets all the good stuff, take care of us, and of course we eat together… whenever we have money. Mostly we have enough money to eat once a day, otherwise we just survive without, because I am never going to ask any foster parent's for food… never.

I turn my focus back to the present, and looked over at Carlisle, who was studying me closely. Since he was paying for this, I felt I had to order that fucking salmon, even though I hate fish… I remember tasting it as a kid.

"So Jasper, tell me, do you have any hobbies?" asked Carlisle, and took a sip of his coke, that just arrived along with mine.

Hobbies? You're kidding me right?

"Well… no not really, I mostly just hang out with my friends," I answered, and couldn't imagine he would like to hear about my three hobbies…

Drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.

"Oh, so you have some very good friends, back in Dallas?" asked Carlisle, and sounded a bit surprised… as if I should have been a totally loner in his mind.

I don't know if you can call a drug dealer and his gang friends? I mean I met Peter when I was ten, when he offered me a cigarette, saying I looked like I needed it… and since then I just hang out with his gang, mostly being high at the same time. I don't even know about Peter's life, and he don't know much about mine… so are we friends?

"Yeah… I have a few," I answered, and took a huge sip of my own coke…

I should have guessed a _doctor _just needed to order Cola _Zero_… what the fuck was wrong with the real original stuff?

"So um… how about your family, how many are you guys?" I asked, a bit unsure… but I just wanted to get away from any topic that concerned my life in Dallas.

"Oh, you must mean _our_ family," corrected Carlisle, and smiled as if he wanted me call them family. "You can just as well get used to it," he told softly, and I mostly wanted to kill him… those people were not my fucking family!

Because I have no family… never had, never would have. Even my mom wasn't family, at least not after she left me, and decided to live without me. Even Peter and his gang weren't family, and although Peter always made sure we were fed, and had everything we needed, we did things for him, it was just business. I often lied for him, or ended up in horrible gang fights just to protect his ass … he wasn't family, just an ally.

"Yeah… um, I am not ready for that yet," I tried to tell him in a more civilized way, than what my brain wanted me to. I could see he looked disappointed, but it quickly disappeared, all happy again.

"Well then you do that when you are ready," he smiled, and didn't look angry. "And for my family… well there is my wife Esme, who you are going to meet soon, and then there are my children Edward and Rosalie. Rosalie is sixteen just like you, while Edward is nineteen… already at Harvard, times goes so fast sometimes," sighed Carlisle, and shook his head.

Harvard, seriously? Could his family get any worse?

"How nice…" I muttered, and tried to smile. "You must be proud of him," I said, and tried to forget the fact I never would get near Harvard, or any college.

"Yes, very much," smiled Carlisle, and looked truly proud. "He and his girlfriend Bella both go there, and we are all very proud of them. Unfortunately, we don't hear much from them, but they come home when they have the time… Bella is actually from Forks, it's where Edward met her," told Carlisle.

Just great… now I have to hear about some kind of sick love story, where everything ends well, and the prince get his princess.

But thankfully our food arrived at the same moment. Two salmon, with mashed potatoes, and something I think were carrots, and some other vegetables that were green and disgusting. Actually, all of it looked disgusting, including the mashed potato, not that I had a choice.

I could see Carlisle was already eating, secretly watching me, to see if I was going to eat my food. So with a groan I took the fork, and tried to look like this was normal, but I wasn't very good with a fork and knife… I know I'm sixteen. It's just burger and pizza is something you can eat with your hands, all the food I eat is, so I looked seriously dumb trying to use a fucking fork… I wasn't even going to try the knife.

After telling myself over and over I could do it, I finally tasted the fucking salmon…

And nearly spit it out again.

What the fuck was this shit? If it wasn't for Carlisle sitting in front of me, it would be back on my plate by now, but instead I had to shallow it, nearly throwing it up again. But I could feel he was watching me, so I tried one of the carrots instead… but boiled vegetables are just not me. I swallowed it too, but a huge amount of coke followed.

So it was mashed potatoes I guess.

"So… tell me, what other family do you have?" I asked, and tried to make him talk, so he wouldn't notice how little I was going to eat.

I can't remember most of what he said, but it was him who talked most of the time, and I just listened.

I already knew my father was dead, but his father… my grandfather was still alive. Carlisles son Edward was named after him, but the old Edward… my grandfather, preferred to be called Ed. He was the guy who owned the company, and was still working… he was probably going to die behind that desk.

Carlisle described him as a _stubborn old man_.

But Ed's wife… my grandmother, was on the other hand was dead. Carlisle said he was fifteen when it happened, so I could sense it was a long time ago… be he still sounded very sad.

But I didn't knew her, so I guess I just didn't care.

And then he mentioned something about a boy… called Emmett. As I understood it, he preferred to say he was Rosalie's _friend_, but it was pretty clear in my ears they were more than that. No matter, Carlisle explained to me that he was like an extra son, and more or less family. He would be there too… in Forks, so I was going to live with three irritating teenagers.

But that was it. That was all the family Carlisle had… which wasn't much. He mentioned something about Esme's family, and a brother who would visit them this summer, but I didn't really listen, as the subject suddenly changed to how he and Esme met, and I didn't want to hear that story. It would just remind me about how sad my parent's story probably was, compared to Mr. Perfect's, and I couldn't take that right now.

But I noticed he didn't say a lot about my father… he actually didn't mention him more than once. Garrett Cullen, the only thing that could interest me a bit, seemed to be forbidden topic in Doctor Cullen's eyes, and I could feel it was a sensitive spot.

When we finished eating, or I after ate my mashed potatoes, and he ate most of his food, he asked for the bill. I could see he was eyeing my plate, and the more or less untouched fish and vegetables, but he didn't say anything.

And it wasn't because I wanted to irritate him with this… it was just new to me. Back on the streets, I was mostly too hungry to care what food tasted like, when I finally got anything, and when I ended up in the foster system, I was a brat. Everything was so confusing, and I was testing every line I could, so only fries was good enough for me. Most foster parent's just gave up, and allowed me to eat what I wanted too, and at ten, I stopped eating at home. Peter made sure we ate, and the only reason I didn't get fat from junk food was the cigarettes. I began to crave them instead of the food, and would often forget I was hungry, because the cigarettes were my first priority.

And I could really use a cigarette right now.

After he paid the bill, we went back to the car, and we got on the road again. Carlisle continued to talk, but most of the time I didn't listen, until we suddenly hit a… well let's call it a sore spot for me.

"So… Jasper, we have a few things to go over, before we reach Forks," told Carlisle with a serious voice that clearly meant business. "I don't mean to scare you, and I understand this is all confusing and new, but I think it would be best if we went over a few rules," he told me, and I could feel that I was already crying inside.

Seriously… I had been over this way too many times, actually with all of my foster families.

"Um… sure," I said, a bit unsure how he expected me to react, it was just rules.

"I just think its best you get a good start at our home, so let's just talk about the most important, okay?" he asked, and continued after I nodded. "Well first of all, I don't tolerate disrespect toward Esme or myself… or anyone else for that matter. We all have to speak nicely to each other, or there will be consequences. So please, try not to curse, or call anyone any names… because these rules goes both ways, I also have to speak nicely to you," he told, and I could already hear the same old song.

It didn't mean I wouldn't be able to follow the rules… actually I didn't plan to be home most of the time, so maybe it wouldn't be a problem at all. I wasn't going to be a part of this whole family thing, and this was actually just waste of time.

"Well sure… I will try," I promised, but it was an empty promise I just said to make him happy.

"Good," sighed Carlisle, like he thought it be hard to make me agree. "Well, the next thing is you always have to have a phone on you, and a way for us to get in contact with you. I know this seems strict, but I want to know where you are at all time, or you don't have my permission to leave the house. This is only for you own safety, and even Edward at nineteen has to tell me where he is, so it's not just you," he told me, and to be honest… that was just a stupid rule. "It's just so we can look out for each other,"

Like I was going to tell him where I was! Unless he placed a chip somewhere in my pocket, I would just lie, or not tell him at all… stupid rules!

"Well sure…" I said, and looked cool and calm about it, so much so that Carlisle turned his head and looked suspicious at me.

"You don't think that's strict at all… want to complain, or something?" he asked slowly, and raised an eyebrow.

"Well… um, I think I can live with it," I told him, and tried to give him a smile… but it looked more like a grimace.

"Okay…" sighed Carlisle, clearly thinking I was lying… which I was, but whatever. "The next thing on the list is your curfew. I don't mind that you are out in the evenings, but I want you home at eleven, not any later, or we are going out to search for you,"

"Okay," I said coldly, not caring if they didn't know where I was, they wouldn't be able to find me.

"Well… you are taking this very well…" muttered Carlisle, mostly to himself, but it was clear he knew the truth just as well as me. "Apart from that, I won't have any fights, drinking, smoking… or any use of drugs. All of those things will lead to severe punishment and consequences, and you won't like them, do you understand?" he asked, and suddenly had this very sharp edge on his voice… this was serious business.

Did he and Maggie speak about my drug use? Maggie never officially said anything about it, but she knew I took drugs, just not how often. It was only once, and recently I ended up on the hospital because of an overdose, and I had tried to keep it down since.

Or just make sure she didn't find out.

But one thing was sure… as soon as Peter got some drugs delivered here, I was going to get seriously high and drunk. I didn't care about Carlisle's rules at all… what was he even going to do? Ground me? I would just sneak out of the window if that was the problem, or tell them I didn't care…

He couldn't do anything to stop this.

"I think I got it," I smiled, and wondered a bit why I could sense Carlisle didn't believe my words.

I knew Maggie wouldn't try to make me look bad… at all. She would do anything to praise me, and tell him I was a good boy, who would be perfect for this family. I couldn't imagine she suddenly would tell the truth about me, just because Carlisle was family… at least by blood, so why didn't he believe me already? Maggie usually made people think I was a sweet angel, and I only cursed once in Carlisle's car…

It would get much worse.

"Good," smiled Carlisle, and turned the radio on… some kind of classical music I think, not my type. "There is more things we should discuss, but for now I will just let you think about this, and give you a chance to accept all of it, before I throw more on you. I most of all just want you to have a good start," he told with a huge… nearly real smile, like he meant it.

Not that I cared.

"Thanks," I muttered, not knowing what else to say.

I turned my head around, and looked out of the window… tree's flying past me, as the seconds went by.

And I began to feel that this game just started.

* * *

So hey Guys…

So how long do you think Jasper is going to stand, before he break a rule… and what will he do first to get in trouble? I haven't decided yet, so you have some influence here :D

thank you very much to my Beta :D

And thank you very much for the reviews :D

**IMPORTANT: **There was a guest review who said I needed to edit a bit… grammar problems, and I would like to thank you for telling. I must however inform all of you my native language isn't English, so there will be some mistakes, but I promise to go back and edit a bit.

Please review, it's you guys who makes my day amazing when you do it! :D


	4. Chapter 4

A story by The Blue Darling

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 4

Carlisle's P.O.V

* * *

I tried to tell myself it would be okay… I really did, but God it was hard!

Jasper was, to put it nicely, in a worse condition than I thought. He was already lying to me, acting like my rules were piece of cake, and they would be easy to follow, even though we both knew it would be extremely hard. I didn't accept lying… another rule I had to go over with him, but right now it didn't seem like he understood the consequence for any of it.

Or there would be consequences at all.

But that was just one problem. This boy clearly had no structure, or parental figures in his life. From here, I could smell the nicotine, even though it must have been hours since he smoke, and he was in need of a shower… badly. Something told me it wasn't because he didn't have access to a shower, he just didn't think about it, or didn't care.

Not to mention he was in need of new clothes, badly. His jeans and shirts had been washed so many times they lost their color, not to mentioned his jacket was old and outworn, and his shoes where full of dirt and mud, outworn too.

His eating habits wasn't something I approved either.

First of all… he had lived on burgers and pizza, and whatever else you could call junk food, something I didn't saw as healthy at all. As a doctor, I had seen this before, but never so extreme, or at least it looked that way in my eyes. He was picky too… at least when it came to vegetables and fish, and I truly don't think he ate anything else than the mashed potato at the restaurant.

Secondly, it looked like the poor boy didn't know how to use utensils, at least not very well. He looked awkward with the fork in his hand, like a small child, who was trying to learn… a bit like my kids in that age. Jasper was just sixteen, and he should have learned that by now.

But it gave sense… in some way. He had been homeless until he was eight, so when he got food, he probably used his hands. I doubt anyone ever tried to teach him how to use it, and when he got into the foster system, I think they got bigger problems than using a fork and a knife. As far as I could read, he had huge temper tantrums, mostly making the foster parents bend as he wished.

So if Jasper didn't want to eat with fork and knife, he didn't have too.

And junk food was something you ate with your hands, so if no one ever taught him, how should he know?

But the list of problems where so much longer than I expected, and I had only been with him for four hours, so much more would probably come to light. Most of his problems would take time to fix, not to mention he needed to learn basic writing, reading and math at some point.

But I just had to take this step by step. Right now, he had been introduced to the most important rules, so he could survive the evening at our home, and be told the rest in the morning. I wouldn't put more on his shoulders right now, and there was another huge topic we had to discuss…

But not before tomorrow, today he would just make a fuss.

Because punishment wasn't something I took lightly, and if someone broke the rules, they had to be disciplined. Mostly groundings and scolding's was enough, and taking privileges away worked well too, but sometimes I just needed more than that…

A spanking was needed.

I didn't do it often, and the worst two cases had been the one time Edward got himself in jail, or the once he got in a fight at school. Rosalie had her parts too, but Edward defiantly made the two worst, even though I knew Jasper would break that record quickly. I always preferred to ground them, or punish in another way, but sometimes a spanking was the only thing that would make them understand. No matter how much I spoke and tried to make them see, it wasn't before their bottoms were sore they understood.

So yes, I spanked my children, and Jasper lived under the same rules, so he would get the same treatment. Unfortunately, drugs and alcohol was on my list of things that would end there, and Jasper would sooner or later cross that line.

It was just a matter of time.

I looked over on Jasper, to see he was awake, and was staring out of the window… something he had done for an hour now. After we spoke about the rules, there had been a deep silence between us, none of us had broken yet. Jasper was just staring out of the window, probably trying to accept everything, and accept he had family.

Or at least I hoped so.

When we finally got to Forks, I was beginning to get restless. I needed to see Esme, and I needed to talk to someone… to someone who understood Jasper was suffering in his own way. I couldn't really discuss this with Jasper, since he was the topic, so when we reached Forks I nearly sighed in relief, while Jasper just looked skeptical on the _Welcome to Forks_ sign. It was clear from the start he didn't like Forks very much, or wanted to be there, but I felt he at least had to try and be positive about it.

But I wasn't going to speak to him about that right now. Instead, I just dreamed about coming home, and be together with my wife and children.

And when we finally crossed the town, and drove down the path to our house, I felt it took a million years. Our house was just outside town, surrounded by trees, with a lake in the backyard. There was a main house, where Esme, our children and I lived, and then a small cottage on the other side of the lake, where my father lived when he was here. Garrett had a cottage too, back when he was alive, but now it was just empty.

As our house finally came into view, even Jasper couldn't hide his impressed stare, and for a moment he actually looked like a normal teenager, but then he hid his feelings again. He clearly didn't like to admit it, but the house was truly impressive.

It was a three-storey house, in white, with a porch wrapped around it, and huge windows that made it look warm and light inside. It was like a diamond hidden in the forest, and even though I lived in Seattle, this was my real home.

"Is your house in Seattle even bigger?" asked Jasper, a bit amazed, and continued to stare on the house, as we got near.

"No… it's a bit smaller, but more or less the same size," I answered, and realized just how rich I must sound in his ears. "This is however my grandparent's house, who gave it to my mother and father when they died… I was actually born here, and didn't move away before I was fifteen," I told. "My father sold it to me thirteen years ago for a cheap price, since he didn't use it anymore… he just wanted a cottage by the lake," I smiled, and tried to make him realize it was a family house… something that was passed down from generation to generation, not something I just brought.

"Oh…" muttered Jasper, most of all sounding like he didn't care.

When we finally reached the house, Esme stepped outside, and stood on the porch to welcome us. She was the one who was most excited about Jasper coming, and even though I didn't like to say it, I feared she was going to be disappointed. She knew he had problems, but in her eyes, he was family, and we didn't have that much family left…

So for his own sake, I hoped with my whole heart he would act nicely, and be kind toward her.

As soon as I stopped the car, Jasper looked on me for a second, before he looked with skeptic on my wife, and then back on me. He never said anything, but he looked like he wanted to run and hide. Instead, he got out of the car without a word, and went to the trunk to get his bag.

With a sigh, I got out too, and went over to Jasper, were I grabbed my own things. We had clothes and toiletries in the house, but I always took my doctor bag and computer with me… just in case someone got hurt, or I needed to make some paper work.

"Are you ready to say hello to your aunt?" I asked Jasper, and looked up on Esme who still stood on the porch, giving Jasper time to approach her.

I tried to use _aunt _and _uncle _as much as I could, to get Jasper used to it, and make him accept we were family. I knew he needed time to get comfortable and use it, but if I said it as much as I could, he would at least see it was okay to call us aunt and uncle.

"Yeah… sure, but dude, I am not going to call her auntie or anything," he told, a bit angry, but before I could say anything he walked up to the porch, and with a sigh I followed him.

When we reached Esme, I could truly see how excited she was, and how disappointed she would be in a moment. Not because Jasper wasn't a good boy, at least deep down… he was just not the family type like she was. We didn't have much family, except her mom and dad, her sister, niece and our own children of course… not to mention my father, but that was an on and off thing. We actually just lost a family member, so Jasper was more than welcome in Esme's eyes.

"Esme, this is Jasper, our nephew" I introduced, and ignored his earlier comment. "And Jasper, this is Esme, your aunt," I presented, and tried to make this less awkward, but Jasper was already staring on her like she was an alien.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," smiled Esme, and in excitement she pulled him into a hug. Jasper on the other hand looked like he was in panic, as his body went stiff, and he stood still… like a bomb was about to explode.

"It… it's nice to meet you too, ma'am," muttered Jasper, as he finally got back to himself, and relaxed his muscles. Esme finally released him from the hug, only to take his face in her hands, and look on him with searching eyes.

"You look so much like you father," she smiled, and turned his head a bit. "Carlisle have you seen this?" she asked, and looked on me for a moment, before she turned back to look on Jasper. "It's almost like Garrett when he was young, such a handsome face," she smiled, and released a now terrified Jasper, who looked on her like she was a ghost. He didn't even try to say anything, he just stared on her, and took a small step away.

"Yes dear, he does look a lot like him," I smiled, and placed a hand on Jaspers shoulder, before he got any ideas about running. "But why don't we go inside, I am sure Jasper would like to have a shower after such a long journey, and perhaps rest for a bit before dinner?" I suggested, most of all because he was seriously in need of a shower.

"Oh of course," smiled Esme, and opened the door so we could step inside. I more or less pushed Jasper inside, and tried to make a bit space between him and Esme. It was clear she was a bit too much for him right now, and needed some time to warm up to her.

"Where are the kids by the way?" I asked, and wondered why none of them came to say hello. Right now it would be nice if one of them could show him around, and give me and Esme some time, because I really needed to talk to someone.

"Oh they all went on a picnic this afternoon, but should be home soon," she told, and closed the door behind us.

"Oh, well then Jasper can meet them later," I smiled, and looked on Jasper, just to realize he wasn't listening at all.

Instead, he was staring on our living room, with what only could be fascination. It was the biggest most open room in the whole house, with a huge panorama window, with view to the lake, a huge staircase just beside Edward's piano. Everything was decorated in soft beige and green, along with a bit of white, and a dark cherry tree floor.

"Jasper, why don't you and I go upstairs?" I suggested softly, and placed a hand on his shoulder. He truly looked tired and overwhelmed from a long day, with many new impressions, and even though it only was later afternoon, I for a moment wondered if he should go straight to bed.

"Sure," he muttered, and allowed me to lead him to the stairs, before he shook my hand of his shoulder.

"I will be in the kitchen," told Esme, and left us alone.

He didn't say much as we walked upstairs to the third floor, and down the hallway to his room. It was the last one, just beside my office, with a great view to the lake, and high enough for him not to sneak out of the window. Oh yes, we thought of that too when we chose his room.

"So, this is actually your fathers room, back when we lived here," I told, and tried to make him a bit excited about it, but it didn't really help. "I fear most of his furniture's are gone, but the desk was his, and the closet too… the rest is new," I told, and opened the door so he could look inside.

It was a nice big room, with a single bed in the corner, and colors in blue, green and brown. There was my brothers old desk and closet, along with a nightstand, a comfortable couch, and a TV. On his desk was even a laptop he could use, even though we preferred he spend time with our family, but everyone could need a few moments alone.

"This… this is _my _room?" he asked amazed, and looked on me like I was an complete idiot at the same time. "I don't have to share it with anyone or something?" he asked skeptical, and was most of all confused.

And it was understandable. Most of his life he probably needed to share a room with someone, or maybe even sleep on a cough… if not the streets. Then suddenly, he was given a room like this… for me it would feel like heaven.

"Yes, for the summer it's just yours." I told, and gave him a smile, as I for the first time saw him look a bit thankful. He probably needed privacy more than anything else, and if that was the only thing I could do to make him feel welcome, I would do it.

"Thanks," he muttered, and stepped into the room.

With a smile I watched him look around, before I decided to give him some time alone.

"Jasper I think you should pack out, get a shower, and rest for a bit," I told, and really hoped he registered the shower part. "I don't know exactly when dinner will be ready, but I promise to get you when it is, okay?" I asked, and patted his shoulder.

He was so amazed by the room he didn't even answer, but nodded, before he turned his concentration back to the room. With a smile, I closed the door behind me, happy because I finally saw a small part of him be happy, and… well just smile for once. He wasn't happy the whole car ride, and I was beginning to feel I couldn't do anything to make him happy, and it was too late…

But this proved there still was some part of him that was a normal teenager, with normal feelings, who could be saved, and be helped.

With a smile, I went downstairs, to find Esme in the kitchen, making roasted chicken… at least Jasper would eat that, or I hoped so.

"Hello my love," greeted Esme, and gave me quick kiss before she returned to the chicken.

"Hello," I sighed, and finally got the chance to really say hello. Before we were both busy trying to make Jasper feel at home, and never got a chance to say hello.

"So, Jasper seems like a sweet boy, a bit reserved," said Esme, "Who really need a haircut," she added with a smile, and of course that would be what she noticed first… his long hair.

"Well if just a haircut was his biggest issue," I sighed, and leaned against the counter, just beside her.

"That bad?" she asked, and stopped whatever she was doing, to look on me with concern. "He seemed nice enough, a bit shy… but not rude," she said, and looked on me questioning. Esme always believed everyone was good, at least deep down, and she even said that about Garrett until he died. So of course, Esme would only see a sweet boy, who was shy, and he was shy… because she was overwhelming.

"Well you were new," I explained. "I drove in a car with him for four hours, not to mention lunch at a restaurant… Esme honestly, he's a mess. He has no structure, no parental figures, no idea about how to behave, and isn't even giving this a chance. He is skeptical all the time, and instead of accepting we are family, he is trying to deny it in his head," I sighed, and pinched the bridge of my nose, as I tried to compose my thoughts. "I admit he did his best to behave in the car, but it was just so clear he was acting, and he more than once lied to me…"

"We can't know that yet… I just think he is a shy boy, who need's a family," tried Esme, and kissed my cheek to calm me down, but it didn't work at all.

"Yes but even if he is shy… he has huge problems with his social skills, not to mention he can't read, or do simple math. We already know he has problems with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol… Esme he don't even know how to use utensils!" I exclaimed frustrated, and couldn't understand how people allowed it to go so far.

"Calm down Carlisle," ordered Esme. "We haven't known him for long… and maybe he is over with drugs and alcohol, maybe he is trying to get a fresh start…" she tried, but I interrupted her as I saw someone move outside the window.

"What's Jasper doing in the garden?" I asked confused, and Esme immediately looked out of the kitchen window too.

"Maybe he just need some fresh air?" suggested Esme, but at the same moment, my eyes saw something in his hands…

With a sigh, I walked over to the kitchen door, and prepared myself for what was about to happen…

Because it was better to end this, before it started.

* * *

So Hello my lovely readers! :D

What is Jasper doing in the garden, and how much trouble do you think he will get?

And a guest reviewer has pointed out a few grammar mistakes (out of many) and I would just like to say thank you, since I can't send a private message, and I promise to correct it when I get time.

And appart from that, please be the great readers you are, and review, it's so nice to hear your opinions :D


	5. Chapter 5

Story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beat sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 5

Jasper's P.O.V

* * *

I carefully inhaled the smoke, and exhaled it again, finally completely relaxed and alone.

This was like heaven, after a long shitty day, with what must be the most irritating person I have ever met…

He was judging me every fucking moment! So yes, I didn't read well, my clothes were old, and my language wasn't the best… but couldn't he just leave me alone? I wasn't exactly raised like the Cullens, even though I suddenly was one, but Carlisle was acting like I should have known everything from the start. The good thing is, he probably is too embarrassed to take me anywhere near their friends, or business partners.

Then there was his wife… Esme. She was fucking scary! All loving and hugging me as if we had always known each other acting like I was a sweet boy or something. I actually preferred Carlisle's judging eyes to Esme's killing love, that squeezed all the air out of your body.

The worst thing was… it was for the whole summer. I had to live with these two idiots for what seemed like a year, not to mention I still had meet their children… who probably are just as irritating.

So I know Carlisle asked me to take a shower… mostly because he probably thought my hair was too greasy, and I was disgusting. But I just really needed a goddamn cigarette, after all those hours beside Mr. Perfect, in his perfect new car, with his perfect manners and clothes.

And yes I know Carlisle said no cigarettes, but he is probably in a shower or something, and won't ever know.

Therefore, I decided to take a small break outside, since I didn't dare to take the risk and do it inside. Actually, I found a good spot, just beside the garage, where no one should see me. There was a small space between the house and the garage, and it was far enough away so that they wouldn't notice me. There was a window everywhere in that fucking house, but I made sure to stand still, and hide the cigarette the best I could…

Or at least I thought so.

Because seconds later I saw the kitchen door open, and Carlisle stepped outside. Esme was just behind him, but it was his stern expression that told me that I wasn't as smart as I thought. Of course they just had to be in the kitchen, just as I was smoking, and of course they just had to see it.

I knew it was too late to hide the cigarette, as Carlisle came closer at a fast pace. Judging by his stern expression, he had already seen the cigarette, and I could just as well enjoy it while I could, before he reached me. Esme was following behind, but kept a good space between herself and Carlisle… maybe she was scared of him?

Or just saw it as his task to scold the children… how weak.

I inhaled the smoke a last time, before Carlisle finally reached me, just in time to get all the smoke blown in his face. I expected him to cough and try to get his breath again, but instead he took a step back, and removed the last of the smoke with his hand.

"Jasper, please remind me about how I feel about smoking," he said calmly, and took my lit cigarette, and threw it on the ground, where he crushed it with his foot.

"Shouldn't you know that yourself?" I asked smartly, and decided right now would be a good place to start my mission. The only reason I acted nicely in the car, was because it was four fucking hours, and I needed my energy.

"Yes, and I do, but it seems like you forgot," he said coldly, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Maybe I just don't care," I said, and tried to move away, but Carlisle pushed me back against the wall, and I now realized his eyes were full of anger.

"And you don't just walk away when I talk to you," he scolded, and took a firm grip on my leather jacket. "As long as you live under my roof, you do as I say, and live by my rules, understand?" he asked, and was beginning to have a hard edge… but he was just a fool in my eyes.

"Seriously dude, move," I said, and tried to push him away… but he was stronger than I expected. Actually, it only made his grip on my jacket harder, and as if he was trying to get a point across, he pushed me even harder again the wall.

"I asked, Do. You. Understand?" he asked slowly, but firm, and stared with a deadly look into my eyes, not that it fucking scared me.

"Just leave me alone!" I hissed, and leaned forward, so that my face was few inches away from his. "You are not my fucking mother! And If I want to smoke, I smoke!" I told him, and tried to push him again, but he was seriously stronger than I thought.

And I just really pissed him off. Actually, he mostly looked like one of those cartoons, who gets totally red, and then their heads explode, the only difference was this guy didn't explode, but took a deep breath.

"Listen," he said with authority, and suddenly I felt he was a lot taller than me. "I don't want to hear that attitude, or be treated with so little respect. I may not be your mother, but I am you uncle and you are under my roof, so you respect me, and follow my rules. Right now, I am telling you that you can't smoke, so you won't! I am being lenient with you this time, so don't try to push me, or you won't like the consequences. You're new, so I will give you time, but I won't be this mild again. So now I will ask once more, do you understand?" he asked, and stared on me with such an intense stare, I for a moment forgot what an idiot he actually was.

I am a rule breaker… not stupid. There is a huge difference, and right now, even I knew Carlisle was going to explode in a moment, or at least get very angry. I wasn't trying to get myself into huge trouble… just make their everyday lives irritating, and push them now and then. If I pushed Carlisle much further, without giving him a minute to calm down, it was clear he would do something…

I just couldn't figure out what.

"I understand…" I sighed, and looked down, to make the whole I am sorry act, before I soon would anger him to the edge again.

"Good," he said coldly, and was back to being stern… not angry. "Then please cooperate, and give me the package and lighter I can see in your pocket," he ordered, and stretched his hand out.

Okay, so this wasn't a part of the plan, because I didn't have that many cigarettes, just enough to survive… the first week probably. If he took these, the rest wouldn't last more than three days, and this was a whole full package! I tried to look pleading on Carlisle, but he just gave me a stern look, and shook his head.

"You aren't going to smoke while you are here, so you can just as well give them to me," he told, and got a bit more mild expression. "Look, I understand it's hard to suddenly just stop, but it's the best way to get clean. And it's not like you're alone, I'm a doctor, and I promise to help you," he smiled. "Now give them to

me, and I will help you through the withdrawals," he told me, and for a moment, I considered if I could run… but that would be stupid… really stupid in fact.

"Fine!" I sighed, and placed the package and lighter in his hand. "But I don't need your help!" I told him irritated. "I can do fine on my own,"

"We will see about that," he said coldly, probably a bit hurt because I didn't want his fucking help. "And Jasper I don't want to see this again, or there will be consequences," he warned, and stopped me as I was about to leave. "And I don't want to hear you talk with such little respect toward me," he said sharply, and grabbed my arm so I couldn't leave.

It was now that I noticed Esme was still there, silently watching, and looking a bit sad. Why I don't know, but she was so fucking emotional about everything… you know the type that just always cry.

"Yeah, I hear you," I muttered, and looked up on him, "It won't happen again, okay?" I said, and didn't make any promise… because something alike this would probably happen again.

"Good," nodded Carlisle, and grabbed my arm a bit harder. "Now follow me," he ordered, before he looked over on Esme, and added. "I will be with you in a few moments,"

Without further information's he dragged me inside, and up to my bedroom, where he released my arm, as he closed the door behind us. It wasn't really the first time I had the, no smoking in my house conversation, so I already knew what this was about, and I was prepared.

"Please open you bag, and place your belongings on you bed," he ordered, and handed me my bag, What he didn't know was I already placed the teddy bear, with the cigarettes, under my bed where he wouldn't see it, but he was welcome to search all he wanted.

"As you wish," I muttered, and quickly emptied my bag. There was only three pair of pants, and five shirts, not to mention the shirt I slept in, my toothbrush, and of course underwear. Then a few pair of socks, and some old pictures followed… but that was it. Even Carlisle looked a bit surprised when he saw the amount, and for a moment he forgot why I emptying my bag.

"Did you leave something behind in Dallas?" he asked surprised, and looked on my nightshirt, and the huge hole around the left shoulder.

Yeah, I didn't even own pajamas. It wasn't like the foster parents didn't buy me a lot of clothes, but I left it behind every time I moved… because, well it felt wrong to take it with me. Most of these clothes were Peter's old rags that was a bit too big, or needed to be repaired here and there.

"No that's it… don't need that much," I told him, and what I really wanted to say was, not everybody is rich, but I wasn't going to push my luck right now.

"Esme or I will take you shopping soon," he told me firmly, as he began to look on the rest… but I wasn't sure if he was looking for cigarettes and drugs, or holes anymore.

"Not necessary," I quickly said, and didn't want them to use their money on me, or survive with them a whole day in a mall… no thanks. "I have enough here," I told him, but barely got to finish before Carlisle looked stern on me.

"Jasper I didn't ask if you wanted to go shopping, it's just something that will happen," he said sharply, and pointed on one of my shirts. "That shirt isn't even clean… and there is more holes than I can count. No one

in my household will have so little clothes as this… you don't even have a real pajamas," he sighed, and took the only pair of clean jeans, and a clean T-shirt, with not too many holes. "Here take this, and go take a shower," he ordered, and gave me the clothes. "The bathroom is on the other side of the hallway, and there should be a towel and soap for you," he sighed, and looked over my things again.

"I don't need to go shopping," I tried again, and didn't care what he just said, but this time he just ignored me.

"I can't see any cigarettes here," he said instead, and looked sharply on me. "But if I find some later, it won't end well for you. So if you have any I can't see, hand them over now, and you won't be in trouble," he offered, and gave me small fake smile. "This is your chance," he encouraged, but he was stupid if he thought I was going to give him anything.

"You already took everything I have," I answered, and it was nearly true… he took a lot at least.

"Very well," he sighed, but didn't look like he believed it more, than he believed Narnia was in my closet.

Without any further words, he collected all my clothes, socks, shirts, jeans and underwear in his arms, and walked out of the door. For a moment I stood there confused, before I came back to earth, and ran out of the hallway to stop him.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I more or less yelled, and placed myself in front of him, so he couldn't get any further. "These are my clothes, you can't just take them!" I protested, and tried to take them back, but Carlisle stepped away before I could.

"Jasper I am just going to wash it," he told calmly, and gave me a bright smile. "I am sorry, I should have said something, but most of your clothes need to be washed, and I was just going to do it for you,"

"Yeah, but I need my shirt to sleep in tonight," I argued, and didn't mind that he washed my clothes… it was his time, not mine.

"I will give you some of my or Edward's clothes to sleep in," he offered, and as I was about to protest he stopped me. "It's only for tonight, while your clothes dry… and then perhaps tomorrow we can go out, and buy a few things," he told me, like it was something exciting, and I realized there was no reason to argue…

I could just leave it when I left.

"Sure," I muttered, and tried to smile back… like I actually was happy, but the smile couldn't reach my eyes.

"Now go take that shower mister," he ordered, and disappeared down the stairs, humming some fucking melody.

With a sigh, I went to the bathroom, and took the shower. It was short, and I used their expensive soap to wash my hair, and afterward their expensive towels that I admit were soft and nice. It was some time ago that my hair and body were this clean, but it felt nice, and I even tried to comb my hair, but it was useless. Instead, I just made it dry as it was, and hoped it didn't look too stupid.

When I was finished, I went back to my room, and found my phone in my pocket. It was turned off, since I couldn't find my charger, and tried to save the battery as long as possible.

Before I left, Peter promise to write as soon as he knew where I could get drugs and alcohol. People owe him a lot of favors, so he said he maybe would be able to get something in the area, and would write as

soon as he knew. He knew I would pay him back in work when I got home, and maybe he had a job or two for me while I was here.

And to my surprise there was a message from him. It was short, just like they always were, but exactly what I needed.

Jacob Black, La Push.

With a smile I turned my phone off… at least there was something fun to do, while I tried to survive in hell.

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That was Chapter five, please leave your thoughts in a review J

And the good news is a got a Beta sgswan15, who just edited chapter 1, so it should be much easier to read. She is working her way through the chapters, and I am very grateful for her help J

So please review, and make my day amazing, because every review means a world to me, and make me happy :D


	6. Chapter 6

Story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

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The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 6

Carlisle's P.O.V

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"Hello my dear," I greeted Esme, as I once again found her in the kitchen, preparing the meal. We both rushed outside when we saw Jasper smoke, mostly to support each other if necessary, but I dealt with Jasper just fine.

"Hello again," smiled Esme, and continued to cut vegetable for the salad. The potatoes and roasted chicken was already in the oven, and we should be ready to eat soon. "That was a bit of a start outside," she said calmly referring to the smoking episode… even I didn't think it would happen so soon.

"Yeah," I sighed, and leaned against the kitchen counter, just as I did before. "But he gave me all his cigarettes, or at least he said so, and I couldn't find any in his bag," I informed her, and Esme looked on me with disbelieve.

"You had to do that?" she asked, her voice full of concern. "We aren't exactly supposed to be the police… shouldn't we give him a chance, before we searched through his belongings?" she asked, and again she believed too much in people.

"I felt it was best to get over with it, you know, a clean start. If he had any drugs, alcohol or cigarettes it would just be tempting, and then he wouldn't be able to stop. Its better he don't get into these habits at our home at all," I told her firmly, and I wasn't going to move an inch on this subject. As a doctor, I had seen all the horrible things cigarettes, alcohol and drugs did, and I wasn't going to sit at the hospital, with a dying or dead nephew. I had to watch Garrett do the exact same thing for years, and even he would wish his son got a better life.

"Very well, it's your choice… but I think we should show him a bit more trust," she said, and for some reason, she still believed Jasper was as well behaved as our children. She couldn't understand that he didn't know what rules were, and was like our kids when they were five… he needed to see and learn how far he could go.

"I will try, but it's going to be a balance between love, trust and rules," I sighed, and pinched the bridge of my nose, to get my thoughts under control. "Oh and by the way, one of us has to go clothes shopping with Jasper tomorrow, if not both of us," I informed her, and decided to set the table, to help her.

Our kitchen was big, and we mostly just ate here because it was more relaxed, and our dining room was so formal. Here we just had enough space for six people, and luckily, we were six, with Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Esme and myself.

"Already… is it so urgent?" she asked surprised, and stopped what she was doing for a moment.

"Yes," I sighed, and went over to get the glasses. "He has nearly nothing to wear, and it's all old and worn-out. Most of it has holes too, and I just carried all of it downstairs, to get washed," I told her, and still couldn't get over how little clothes he owned, didn't his former foster parents take care of him? "Most of it hasn't been washed for weeks, and I would prefer to throw it out… but that should be his decision, not mine,"

To be honest, I didn't approve of any of his clothes. It was old, outworn and had this whole _gang_ look when he wore it. I knew I couldn't tell him what to wear, but something with more color wouldn't be too bad… and something of a bit better quality.

"Well then I guess its shopping tomorrow, maybe it's a good way to bond with him," smiled Esme, and tried to see the positive side of this.

"Yes, at least I hope so," I smiled, and wasn't going to tell her that he would hate it deeply. "But first thing in the morning I need to talk with him… you know, so he knows how things is going to be, and what _punishment_ means," I said, and wasn't going to say the word _spanking_, just in case he was eavesdropping or something.

The truth was he wasn't going to take the spanking part well, I already knew that, but I also knew he had to be given some kind of structure and parental guidance. Jasper needed rules like everybody else, and he needed to learn where the line was. As his uncle, it was my task, since Garrett never as much as tried, and I admit it pained me to spank him… but sometimes it was just what a child needed to see there are consequences in life.

"Well then I guess we can leave after you talked," smiled Esme. "Maybe we could even make a small trip out of this… get lunch at a nice place perhaps?" she suggested, and carried the salad over to the table.

Perhaps we could… not that I think Jasper would agree with this.

Soon the table was set, and we heard the kids come home. The had all been on a picnic today, mostly so Jasper could get comfortable, before he was thrown into the arms of three teenagers. To be honest, I already knew Edward and Rosalie weren't exactly thrilled about him, while Emmett thought it was cool, but Emmett always thought everything was cool. It actually hurt a bit that Emmett, the one that wasn't my biological son, was the only one who saw this as cool. Rosalie just said he would be trouble… and Edward, well with Edward it was always a bit complicated.

"Hello kids," I greeted, as Esme and I went out to say hello. When they were kids they would always give me a hug, but now I never really got a hug anymore, and to be honest… it sucked.

"Hi dad," greeted Edward as the first, looking a bit worried , probably trying to find Jasper… or maybe he just hoped he had never arrived.

Rosalie on the other hand was still pissed off, and didn't even say hello as she walked past me, and went into the kitchen with their picnic basket. She had been very clear from the start that Jasper wasn't welcome, and wasn't a part of the family. In her eyes, Garrett was an idiot, and his _bastard_ wasn't her problem.

"How was the picnic," asked Esme to Edward kindly, and kissed his cheek, ignoring his grimace.

"Hey where is the little squirt everyone has been talking about?" asked Emmett, not even saying hello, as he looked around for Jasper. Emmett was a real hulk, with his huge chest and shoulders. He is taller than most people, and many are actually scared of him. We however had known Emmett since he was a kid, when he and Edward were best friends from third grade, but now I wasn't sure if Emmett was more interested in Rosalie or Edward.

"He is showering right now," I told him kindly, and patted his shoulder. "But I am sure he will be down in a moment," I smiled, and was glad at least someone was happy about Jaspers presence.

"Well he better come soon, because I am starving!" sighed Emmett, and was clearly not trying to hide his hunger or personality. Over the years Esme and I had been his second pair of parents, and with eight siblings at home, he often sought our love and guidance instead. Emmett was my third son, and even though he had lovely parents, they just didn't have time for so many kids.

"I thought you just had a picnic," I laughed, and shook my head… Emmett was always hungry.

"Yeah, but I'm a growing boy," he protested, and I was just about to say he had not been that for years, but suddenly I noticed Jasper stood at the bottom of the staircase, watching us.

He was clean now, and wore something that looked more decent, even though I still didn't like it. His hair wasn't greasy anymore, and there wasn't the same smell of sweat around him. I began to wonder how long he stood there and watched us… but it couldn't be long.

"Jasper," I greeted, and walked over to support him… so he wouldn't feel like he was alone. "May I introduce you to Emmett," I began, and pushed him over to Emmett, who was waiting with a huge happy smile. "He is Rosalie and Edwards friend, and has been on summer vacation with us for many years," I told him. "And Emmett this is Jasper, my nephew," I introduced, and coldly they shook hand… or Jasper was cold, while Emmett was smiling.

"It's seriously nice to meet you buddy," smiled Emmett, and was as always positive, but Jasper just looked at him as a threat. In Jasper eyes, he just saw a huge hulk right now, who would be a problem for him if they got into a fight, and Jasper was probably wondering how he best he could beat him.

"Don't call me _buddy_," said Jasper coldly, and not even my stern stare stopped him. Emmett looked a bit surprised, but Emmett was Emmett, and nothing could really make him sad.

"As you wish," he said, already smiling again. "Now let's get something to eat," he said happily, and walked into the kitchen, with Jasper and me following.

"There is no reason for you to be rude," I told Jasper sharply, just before we walked into the kitchen.

"I don't want to be called _buddy_ by a stranger, and it's not my name," answered Jasper, and I was just about to answer back when we reached the kitchen, and I decided we could address this later.

Rosalie and Edward was already seated at the table, and none of them looked like they really cared, even though their cousin was right in front of them. It could on the other hand clearly be seen that Esme was angry, judging by her face, and I could only guess she just had a _talk _with them.

"Edward and Rosalie, may I introduce you to your cousin Jasper," I said loudly, and hoped for their own good they greeted him, or this would end badly for them. "Jasper, this is Edward my oldest son," I said and pointed toward Edward. "And this is Rosalie, my youngest," I said, and gave them both a stern look.

"Nice to meet you," muttered Edward, and looked up for a moment, but never made any attempt to get up and shake hands.

But I guess it was better than nothing.

"Hi," was Jaspers only response, and was just as cold as Edward… at least they had something in common I guess.

I looked over on Rosalie, who was staring challenging back, and we both knew neither of us was going to give up. Rosalie didn't even know Jasper yet, but was already hating him, simply because he was Garrett's son. But a nudge from Emmett was all she needed, and irritatingly she looked at Jasper.

"_Hello_," she said, clearly angry, and then she looked on me to ask _satisfied?_

I guess that too was better than nothing.

"Hey," muttered Jasper, and looked with so much hate on Rosalie even I could feel it.

So no one liked each other… that was just GREAT! Rosalie didn't like Jasper because she thought he was like his father, Edward was just being jealous, and Jasper thought Rosalie was a bitch and Edward was an asshole.

Not to mention I was, in his eyes, the idiot, Emmett was the freak… and Esme… no I wouldn't go that far in my head.

"Well why don't we sit down and eat?" suggested Esme, and tried to lighten the atmosphere… but the truth was this was awkward, and to be honest a disaster wasn't far, not that I was giving up. The truth was I was tired, and needed time to think and get my thoughts under control.

There was three chairs on each side of the table, and Emmett, Rosalie and Edward of course sat on one side, acting like they were five. Neither Rosalie nor Edward wanted to sit beside Jasper that was clear, so my best guess was Rosalie made sure Emmett sat beside her too. I felt a bit sorry for Jasper, because he had to sit beside me, and feel like this was fourth grade all over, but to be honest, I don't think he cared.

He actually looked relived.

The food was as always delicious, and even Jasper seemed to like roasted chicken and potatoes, the salad was however another story. He did eat some of it, but not a lot, instead he just pushed it around on his plate, until he got bored. Actually, he didn't eat a lot of anything, which proved he didn't eat regular… something we would deal with later. For now I just decided to ignore it, and besides Emmett he was eating everything.

All of my kids were eating well, but Emmett's four portions was the record that evening, and right now, I wished that Jasper would eat just as much. Instead Jasper just quickly finished, and stared on Emmett like he was insane.

While we ate, Esme and I tried to have a conversation with the children. Asked how the picnic was, and how Bella was doing, a bit about what Edward was doing at college, and how Charlie was. But no one really answered anything, because my children was busy observing Jasper, who was busy staring irritated at everyone. Esme did a few times to ask him questions like, do you have a hobby, is there any friends at home, and something as simple as what's your favorite color…

I can inform you it was black, and it was the only thing he really answered while we ate. The rest of the time he just looked bored, and stared on us like we were crazy.

As we finished I decided now would be a good moment to talk about chores, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward already knew what needed to be done, but Jasper was new, and we could just as well take the talk now.

"Okay kids, so before we leave the table, we have to talk about the chores," I began, and heard Edward sigh irritated and roll with his eyes, but I decided to ignore that. "I know you three already know what needs to be done, but Jasper don't, and since you are four, we are making some new teams," I announced, and for the first time I saw panic in Rosalie's eyes.

"But me and Emmy have always been together," she protested, and stared angrily at Jasper.

"Yes," I said patiently. "But as I said, you are four now, and Jasper needs a partner too," I explained.

"But then he can team up with Edward," suggested Rosalie, crossing her arms. "He is anyways alone, as long Bella is living at Charlie's house,"

"Hey, don't put this on me!" complained Edward, and stared with deadly eyes on Rosalie.

"Kids, your father just thought it would be good to change the chore teams a bit," interrupted Esme, and tried to stop what was about to happen.

"But I don't want to be teamed up with _that_!" exclaimed Edward horrified, and was without doubt talking about Jasper.

One thing I had to remind myself of was Jasper wasn't used to rules, and he wasn't used to be defended, so he usually took the battle up himself. He had been silently until now, but I guess this was the last straw.

"It's not like I want to be with you either, _Freak_," he spat, and stared so intensely that even I got scared for a moment.

"Jasper that's enough," I said, and turned my head to look on him instead. "I don't want to hear those horrible names in my house, and I understand you are angry, so I forgive you, but don't push it," I told him, and squeezed his hand, "I will take care of this," I promised, but he tore his hand out of mine, and stared deadly at Edward.

"I don't need your help," he hissed, and didn't remove his eyes from Edward, who for once was silent and a bit scared. "And I have no intentions about working with this _fucking freak_, or his sister," he said slowly with a dark threatening voice I didn't like, and clenched his fists under the table. "And dude, if you ever call me _that_ again, like a fucking object I swear, I will…"

"Jasper that enough!" I interrupted, and stood up, now ignoring the whole family. "You do not make such a threat, and not in my house," I told him firmly. "I can see this day has been long for you, so I want you to go upstairs, and calm down in your room, now!" I ordered, before I lost my own temper with him.

Without too much protest, he gave Edward a last glare, before he got up from his chair, and walked out of the room. I knew this was humiliating for him, because I did this to him in front of my children, but on the other hand, I think he wanted to get out of here.

As soon as I head his door slam loudly upstairs, I turned my attention back to my two children, who were just as much at fault for this.

"Esme and Emmett, could you please leave us, so we can talk," I asked, and without a word both Esme and Emmett left. Emmett however gave Rosalie a squeeze on her shoulder, before he left, but he didn't say a word.

"Dad, he is a psychopath!" exclaimed Rosalie, as soon as they left. "Did you hear how he threatened Edward?" she asked, and I knew where this was going.

"Yes I did, but I also heard and saw how you did everything to make him feel uncomfortable," I said, and crossed my arms. I was still standing while they were seated, so I probably looked a bit scary… and angry.

"Dad he is a freak!" complained Edward, who finally could speak again. "He is just going to make trouble, and tear this family apart! Can't you just send him away, please?" he asked. "I don't know if I will be comfortable with him under the same roof," he told, and tried to sound sad… but I knew all the tricks.

"First of all, he is your family, something we don't have a lot of," I told them, and gave both of them a stern look. "Secondly I fought hard for this. It wasn't easy to get any kind of custody, so I am not just going to give up on this. Jasper shares your blood, and you should be happy you have family…"

"But he is violent!" complained Rosalie. "Next time he is probably going to hit someone, and I don't want to end up with a scar!"

"And you won't," I assured her. "Listen Jasper doesn't know what it means to have family yet, and we have to show him that. Right now he was just trying to protect himself, because that's how he survives. He needs time to adjust, and right now none of you are helping," I told them sternly, and was tired of arguing. Today had just been so long, and I just wanted to go to bed so badly.

"But Dad we have enough family, just send him back," pleaded Edward.

"No," I told firmly. "I got permission to have him this summer, so he stays until it ends. Don't think this accident is Jaspers fault more than it's yours, because you two have been nothing but rude to him, and it stops right here…"

"But Dad!" whined Rosalie, but I cut her off.

"I heard enough for this evening. All I wanted was a nice comfortable evening, where everyone got to know each other, but that is clearly not in the picture anymore. Instead, you two will take the dishes as punishment, and for the rest of the summer you can be a team, and take the chores together. Emmett and Jasper can team up instead, since neither of you knows how to treat him nicely. And when you are finished with the dishes, everyone is going to bed," I said sharply, and heard them both complain, but I wasn't going to listen. Instead, I gave them a last final stare, before I walked out of the kitchen.

Two down, one left.

* * *

So that's was a bit of a dinner with the Cullens.

It's clear what's Rosalie's problem is, but what's Edwards with Jasper?

And what do you think Carlisle should do with Jasper?  
Please review and make my day, I really love to hear from those who read the story, short or long message :D


	7. Chapter 7

A story by The Blue Darling

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 7

Jasper's P.O.V

* * *

With a sigh, I sat down on my bed, and cursed the whole world, just because I had to be a part of it.

I think it was fair to say this was a disaster. This whole _meet your family_ thing wasn't exactly going well, and my whole life was actually a disaster, now we are on the subject. To be honest, I couldn't think of one good moment, a moment were things went well for me, and I could smile proud and say life was a gift.

Because my life was a rollercoaster. It wasn't wild or fast, but it was going down until it hit the bottom. There was no up, or maybe just a loop, not a single moment of happiness, it just went down.

And when something hit's the bottom, it's going to be with a huge crash, in this case I hope it's death.

Frustrated I buried my head in the pillow, and tried to find a way to get rid of my anger. I even wondered if I should try and bite the pillow, a bit like a dog would… but then Carlisle was just going to think I was wired.

So I can't exactly say I regret what I did downstairs, but at the same time I admit it wasn't my best move. Mostly I like to be in control, and piss other people off, so I know what I am doing, but this time I just lost it.

Because no one calls me _that_, like a fucking object… a spoon or some shit like that. I am Jasper Whitlock, and no one is ever going to try and give me a nickname.

It was Peter who taught me no one should show me that kind of disrespect. I remember once, back when I was twelve, where a guy called me _freak_ right in front of Peter and I, and Peter hit him right in the face. He told him no one ever called any of his boy's a _freak_, and began beating the guy until he apologized. Afterward he turned around to me, and said next time I had to do it myself, because I shouldn't accept that kind of shit.

And it stuck.

So when Edward called me _that_, I just reacted upon my instinct. I was actually going to threat with a beating, when Carlisle interrupted, and made me go upstairs…

That fucking idiot!

I want lie, and say I like this family one bite. Carlisle is just a fucking idiot, who thinks he knows everything, and everyone. His wife Esme is just trying to be so fucking sweet all the time, and his children is just fucked up. Not to mention Emmett who is… dumb and stupid! At first, I thought he was a bit scary, with the whole six-pack and muscle thing, but he's a fucking dumb puppy.

But Rosalie and Edward is just bitches. I can't really blame them for protesting against the _chores teams_, because I didn't want to be with anyone of them, or even make chores, because it was not my problem. But Edward just needed to call me _that_. I don't really mind they didn't greet me, or looked like they couldn't stand me, I like that part… they already knew the truth…

I wasn't a part of the family.

Irritated I rolled around, so I laying on my back instead, and watched the empty space above me. I most of all just wanted to sleep right now, but Carlisle sounded like we weren't finished yet, and he wasn't going to wake me up… that would make me look weak.

After staring on the celling for a long time, there finally was a knock on the door, before Carlisle stepped in. No _can I come in?_ or just making sure I wasn't naked or something, he just stepped in, I guess I should get a key or something.

"Hello Jasper," greeted Carlisle, more calm than he was downstairs, but clearly tired and in need of sleep. He walked over to my bed, where he placed some clothes at the end, and sat down…

No need for an invitation I guess.

"Come sit beside me," he asked, and patted on the spot next to him. He tried to give me a smile, but it most of all looked like a grimace.

Slowly I sat up on the bed, and placed myself beside him, so my feet touched the ground.

"I guess you didn't get the best picture of our family," sighed Carlisle, and laughed… but he didn't sound like he thought it was funny.

"Yeah, great family you have" I said sarcastically, and didn't really care if he got angry… it was a fucked up family.

"You could say that," he muttered, and looked on me with his deep sad eyes. "Listen Jasper I am too tired to argue right now or be strict, so please, just listen and then we can talk tomorrow, okay?" he asked, and waited on my response.

"Sure," I muttered, and was too tired to argue too… this had been a fucking long day.

"Good," he sighed in relief, and got a more serious expression. "First of all, you should know I am sorry for Edward and Rosalie's behavior. They didn't treat you nicely, and it wasn't nice of Edward to call you what he did. You must understand this is hard for them too, and they just need time… don't judge them already," he pleaded, and I couldn't believe he was here on his children's behavior.

They should move their own ass up here, and apologize!

And what was so hard for them anyway? It was me who was _the new boy_.

"I will try," I told him, but I already knew there wasn't going to be any second chance… because they never got one at the first place.

"Good," nodded Carlisle, and looked more relaxed. "And I know you were only trying to defend yourself down there, but don't threat anyone again," he told, a bit more hard… but he didn't sound angry as I thought he would be. "I won't even try to discuss this in details, but know if it happens again, I won't be this kind. Rosalie and Edward didn't get any punishment either, so it's only fair you get the same free pass," he told, and sounded like I should be happy… but I couldn't really see what was so amazing about this.

"Well… sure, great," I said, and tried to sound happy… but I most of all just looked confused.

"Your welcome," smiled Carlisle, and thought I actually _was_ thankful… but I guess it was best that way. "And about the chores, I decided you and Emmett are a team, since Edward and Rosalie can't act like adults. That means every second day, you two have to help Esme with the cooking, and clean the dishes afterward…"

"I can't cook!" I interrupted horrified, and looked on him like he was crazy… he expected me to eat with them?

"I know, but everyone has to start at a place," he explained patiently. "Esme will give you some easy tasks, so relax…"

"But I don't even want to eat with you!" I complained, and didn't think before I spoke. I wasn't used to say anything else, than what just went through my brain, but Carlisle's stern and still tired eyes made it clear my comment wasn't welcome.

"Well Jasper… I don't know how you normally eat, and when, but in my family we share dinner together. Perhaps not lunch and breakfast, but we all gather at dinner to be a family, and that include you. If you're together with a friend at his house, fair enough stay and eat, but don't think you can use that excuse every night, or get out of cooking," he told firmly, and it was clear there was no arguing…

I guess that would have and wait until tomorrow.

"Fine…" I sighed, and tried to hide my irritation, but it wasn't easy.

"Good," smiled Carlisle, back to just being tired. "Now we also expect you to clean your room, at least once in a while, or when we ask you to. And sometimes we may ask you to do the laundry, or help in the garden, but else it should be easy and very free," he told, and patted my leg…

_Free? Easy? _This was the most fucking strict house I ever had been in! Make dinner, do the laundry, clean your room… I can't remember the last time I did this! If I ever did it. Mostly foster parent always gave up on me, long before we reached the _clean your room_ talk, and I wasn't home, so cooking wasn't a problem.

"That's fucking much!" I sighed, and looked even more irritated than before.

"Language!" warned Carlisle, and gave me one of his _stern _look.

"Sorry…" I muttered, and tried to actually look sorry, but come on, it's just a word!

"Try to get rid of that habit," told Carlisle more softly. "And I know it seems like much to do, but I promise, you will still have a lot of time to yourself," he told, like he thought that was going to help. "And unless you have more questions, I will go to bed," he smiled, and tried to hide a yawn, but didn't succeed very well.

"No, I am going to bed too," I told, and for once I actually was going to bed. Usually I didn't even come home before four in the morning, and wouldn't wake before twelve or something… perhaps later. But today I was just going to sleep.

"Well the clothes on you bed is one of my pajamas," explained Carlisle, and pointed on the clothes. "It's washed and everything," he assured me.

"Uhm… thanks," I muttered, and wished I could just sleep in my own clothes.

For some reason Carlisle decided to ruffle my hair, instead of just leaving me alone… like I was five years old or something. The only thing it did was to mess my hair even more, and when I looked up on him, he just gave me a sad smile.

"I know everything is so frustrating and confusing right now, you have doubts, and don't understand why you are here… but Jasper, I promise everything is done with good intentions. You are my nephew, and more important, family. If I had known about you years ago, I would have gotten you _home_ before now, please believe me when I say I only want what's best for you," he told, and for a moment I actually believed him…

But if he wanted what was best for me, he would leave me alone.

"That's your view on it," I sighed, and wasn't going to argue about this, but nor was I just going to say _okay_.

"Goodnight," sighed Carlisle, clearly disappointed with my answer, but at the same time he wasn't going to argue either. Instead, he patted my head, like I was a fucking dog, before he went out of the room and closed the door behind him.

I could feel how my whole head was spinning… trying to understand everything, but I decided there had been enough thoughts for one night. So instead, I dressed myself in Carlisle's expensive pajamas, that was way too big and long, but it didn't really matter. It was clothes, and I was going to sleep… not walk on some catwalk.

Instead of going straight to bed, I decided to get one of my cigarettes, and smoke it carefully out of the window. It was a bit cold here in Forks at night, but the smoke kept me warm, and if I leaned my head out, the room wouldn't smell of cigarettes and no one would notice.

And as I stood there, I wondered what I got myself into.

* * *

Next Morning

* * *

I woke up with a groan, as someone tried to shake me awake.

"Jasper, it's time to get up," called a feminine voice, and gently tried to shake my shoulder again.

"What now?" I asked irritated, and opened my eyes to see a pair of green eyes stare on me. Confused I sat up, and rubbed my eyes, trying to find out what the fuck was going on. It wasn't the first time I woke up a strange place, an tried to find out where the fuck I was, but it took some time before I realized it was Esme who was trying to wake me. This was the fucking Cullen house, who was my fucked up irritating family.

"It's time to get up sweetheart," she told softly, and tried to touch my cheek for some reason, but I moved my head before she could.

"What is the clock?" I asked tired, and yawned as I stretched my arms… this seemed a bit early. I admit the sun was shining through my window, and since I left it open last night, I could hear the bird sing… just _fucking _romantic!

"It's already eleven," she told, still with the same soft warm voice. "The others have been up for hours, but we thought you needed to rest after you long travel. We have however a lot of things to do today, so we thought now would be okay with you," she smiled, and ran her hand through my hair before I could stop it.

"It's only eleven?" I asked amazed, and couldn't believe they saw that as late… that was an hour earlier than I would consider getting up, and that was on a good day. "Then I think I will take a few hours more," I yawned, and tried to lie down again, but Esme stopped me with her hand.

"Sorry, but we have a lot of things to do, and you can't sleep all day, so rise and shine," she told with patience, and was smiling the whole fucking time.

"Come one… it's early!" I complained, but did get out of the bed… or she would just get Carlisle, and there would be a big fuss.

"When do you normally wake up?" she asked surprised, and placed some clothes on my bed that wasn't mine.

"Between twelve and two," I told, still tired, and trying to rub some of the sleep away from my eyes.

But even I saw she looked a bit surprised. She didn't react, or yelled in surprise, but pure shock was in her eyes for a few seconds, before she got back to her calm self.

"Well that's a bit late," she smiled. "Here the latest we sleep is eleven, so try to get yourself into the routine. Carlisle and I don't like to see you sleep the whole day," she smiled… and of course they didn't like my sleeping routine, they didn't like anything I did.

"Sure…" I muttered, still tired, and wondered if they would try and wake me every single day?

"Well, the others have already ate and left, but there is breakfast downstairs for you," she smiled, and pointed on the clothes. "You own clothes isn't quiet dry yet, but I found a T-shirt and jeans you could use for today," she explained, and I began to wonder when I would see my clothes… it didn't take that long to dry, did it?

"Oh sure… thanks," I mumbled, and still wasn't awake, so I wasn't going to argue yet.

She left me so I could change, and do whatever I needed to do. I did consider if I should try and sleep again, but someone would probably wake me anyway, so I decided just to get over with this day.

To get my day started, I decided to take a quick cigarette out of the window, just like yesterday. No one was outside anyway, and with the toothpaste, I wouldn't smell that horrible of cigarettes… not more than I usually did. It did wake me a bit up, at least enough to make my way to the bathroom, and quickly change into a red shirt, and a normal pair of blue jeans. It was a quick affair, and I quickly brushed my teeth before I went downstairs to the kitchen.

To my surprise, no one was there, but from the window I could see Esme was outside… doing nothing really, and her kids probably escaped hours ago. There was no sight of Carlisle either, which was a good thing, and for once I could actually eat breakfast alone.

Esme had been so _kind _to leave some scramble egg and bacon on the table. It was still warm, so I guess she made it before she went upstairs to wake me. Carefully I took it over to the table, along with a glass of juice I found beside the plate, and some toast in a small basket. It was more than I could eat, not to mention I wasn't really hungry, but I still ate what I could… I was too tired to argue about anything.

I still had problems using utensil, but this time I could just use the fork, and ignore the knife… so I guess it went okay. Last evening I could feel how the all stared on me, while we ate, and it pissed me off… it wasn't their business.

When I finished eating, Esme stepped into the kitchen again… like she just knew, or had some goddamn security camera I couldn't see. She was smiling, even though she looked a bit disappointed, when she saw the remaining amount on my plate, but she still acted like nothing. She told me to let her take the dishes, and go upstairs to Carlisle's office, just beside my own room…

Because he wanted to speak with me… just great!

So I went upstairs, and reached Carlisle's office faster than I wanted too. The door was closed, so I began to consider if I should just walk in, or knock first… at last I decided to try and knock, who knew what he was doing in there.

"Come in," called Carlisle's always patient and calm voice, that I was beginning to hate so deeply. Still tired I stepped inside, and saw the idiot smile at me, like we were friends or something. "Good morning Jasper," He greeted, and stood up from his chair behind the desk. "I hope you slept well?" he asked.

"I slept fine… thanks," I muttered, and closed the door behind me.

"How nice to hear," he smiled, and pointed on a chair in front of his desk. "Please sit down,"

So I didn't like how calm he was… like everything was fine, because it made me think something was really wrong! But slowly I walked toward the chair, allowing myself to sit on it, and as soon as I was seated he sat down again.

His office was like you could guess. Old, full of books, with antique furniture's, and papers neatly sorted out on the table. Everything looked fucking expensive, and I didn't really want to touch anything.

"So Jasper… we have something we need to… _talk_ about," said Carlisle, and for once he looked a bit nervous…

So something was wrong!

"Hey, I haven't done anything wrong!" I said, already assuming that was why I was here… that was the only thing that could make him look this serious. But this time I didn't do anything, so he wasn't going to be mad about that!

"I know, calm down, that's not why you are here," he assured me, before I could say anymore, and made me even more confused. "We just need to speak, nothing else," he promised, and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Oh… well what is it then?" I asked, still a bit scared… what was this about then?

"Do you remember the rules we talked about?" he asked. "Like speak nicely, the curfew, tell us where you are, and don't drink, smoke and take drugs," he listed. "Not to mention no violence," he added.

I wasn't stupid, and of course I could remember what happened yesterday.

"Yeah… I still remember," I nodded, and tried not to show my irritation. He didn't want to repeat those, right?

"Good," sighed Carlisle, and looked more nervous now. "Do you then remember I said there would be consequences and punishment, if the rules were broken?"

"Yes…" I answered, now a bit bored, because I couldn't understand if this was jeopardy or something.

"Well… it's the punishment part I want to talk about," sighed Carlisle, and took a deep breath before he continued. "You see in my family we are a bit old-fashioned when it comes to some things. Sometimes a grounding is just not enough," he explained, not that I got what he was talking about. "The action or rule you have broken have made huge consequences for others… or put your life at risk and…"

Carlisle stopped, suddenly lost for words, or like he couldn't get the words out. I looked on him with a raised eyebrow… still not understanding what the fuck he was talking about, but it had to be something important.

"And?" I asked, trying not to show how much I just wanted to leave.

"Listen I cannot force this upon you," sighed Carlisle, and was now speaking in riddles to me. "But I am going to give you a choice," he told. "If you break any of my rules, let's say get in a fight, or drink… the grounding would be the rest of the summer, to make justice. That would mean you couldn't leave the house without me or Esme, no computer, phones, and lot of work in the garden. You only have the summer with us for now, so I would feel sorry if you had to be grounded… but if you allow me to punish you as I punish my children, the grounding would be very short, a day or two…"

"How do you punish you children?" I asked irritated, tired of I couldn't understand a fucking word.

"I spank them Jasper…"

* * *

So… I know irritating place to stop

But now you guys have to wait, and hopefully review if you want the next chapter!

And I appreciate all those who reviewed at last chapter! :D


	8. Chapter 8

Story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 8

Jasper's P.O.V

* * *

Sometimes when you think the world can't be any more fucked up… it just take the next step, and leaves you behind confused and angry.

So I thought the world was fucked up when I realized I was a part of it, and I thought it was fucked up every time I moved to a new home. I saw it as even more fucked when I found out about my uncle, then my father… and the rest of their perfect little family…

But this was as fucked up as it could be!

Carlisle Cullen, who claimed to be perfect by appearance, and never really lost his temper, he… he spanked his children!

You heard me, he did something as old fashioned as this! A spanking, probably over his lap… maybe even with his belt, and now he was giving me a choice!

"You _spank_ you children?" I asked slowly, and saw he looked almost nervous…

If he was scared I wouldn't like him anymore, he didn't have to worry… I never liked him at all.

"Well… no, I mean yes, yes I spank them," he replied, looking like I was FBI or something… scared I was going to tell my social worker perhaps?

"And you do realize they are 16 and 19… not 5?" I asked, as I couldn't see how Miss Bitch and Mr. Asshole would agree to this. I thought they had some kind of respect for themselves?

"Yes I know, but I… no you and I are out of a family with old traditions, and I was spanked too as a child, even when I was nineteen. So was my father, your grandfather, and his grandfather…"

"Wow, I don't need this family's spanking history!" I interrupted. "This is just sick!" I complained, and saw the sadness in Carlisle's eyes for a moment, before he turned back to the stern person I knew.

"Well I know it isn't exactly a pleasure, neither for you or me, but believe me when I am saying this is for your own good. I know it doesn't seem like that at your age, but later you will realize it was a good thing, and it helped you become a good person. A parent's most important task is to teach the child right from wrong, and sometimes words are just not enough to prove that," he explained, but come on… this was just an insane man talking.

"Well two problems with that dude, one I don't care about right and wrong. And two, you're not my father, so it's not your concern," I informed him, and perhaps I was a bit too mean, but it would hurt more if he thought we had anything near friendship.

Deeply frustrated Carlisle Cullen had to close his eyes, and take a deep breath… like this was hard on him. But if it was so god damn fucking hard he could just drop the spanking, right?

"Well Jasper, I do really understand you have a hard time accepting us as your family, and me as your uncle. But no matter what you do, we are your family, and now with your father dead, you are my responsibility," he explained, and gave me one of those looks that told me not to cross him on this subject. "And even if you don't want to learn the difference between right and wrong, it's still my duty to make sure you do so, and being a part of society it's an important gift," he said firmly, but I didn't get what half of the shit he said even meant.

"What if I don't want to be a part of it?" I asked coldly, and raised an eyebrow… a bit like they do in movies.

"Well that's not a choice," he answered coldly, and raised his own eyebrow… like to ask what _I_ was doing.

So I know I was too calm about this… but the truth was I knew he couldn't do it. So okay I believed he would try, but I was ten times stronger than him, and neither a grounding nor a spanking would stop me. If it came to a fight, I knew Carlisle wouldn't stand a chance, and perhaps he even knew that as well… hopefully he wasn't stupid enough to think I would just surrender.

"Well no matter what a spanking still isn't going to change that," I told him firmly, and crossed my arms to look sterner… later I realized I just looked ridiculous.

Even though the day was still young, Carlisle already looked tired of my presence… like some old guy in need of a nap. He mostly looked like I was hopeless, but it didn't stop him from arguing.

"If that's what you believe," he sighed. "But as I said before you have a choice. We both know you will mess up at some point, at least I am aware of that, and when it happens there will be some kind of punishment. Both of my children has grown up with this, and have accepted it from childhood, but you are sixteen… I understand if it's too late for you to accept this kind of punishment. You have reached the point where I can't force this upon you, but at the same time you still need some kind of punishment, at least as long as you are under my roof," he said. "So you will have a choice. If you misbehave you can be grounded, and probably spend the rest of the summer in this house, with no computer or phone, or you can make it quick and get a spanking,"

"And your children won't be jealous? If I can just be grounded, and they get a spanking?" I asked, as I couldn't see Eddie and bitchy would like this very much.

"No… I think they would feel sorry for you… at least in the long run," informed Mr. Perfect to my surprise.

"It would be them who would get a beating!" I protested, and was confused how Carlisle could think that was better than a grounding. It wasn't like I would accept it anyway, he cannot lay a hand on me, nor decide what I could or couldn't do.

"I don't think they agree, and Jasper I don't beat them," he told me, and looked a bit hurt, not that I cared. "If you give a spanking the right way, it will only sting and hurt. There would be no damage, and I would never hurt my children like that, or leave any scars. I will also always comfort any of you afterward, and make sure you are okay… I don't think that's what you call a beating?" he questioned, and clearly expected me to answer.

"You still hit them," I defeated, and didn't even get why anyone would be comforted after such a thing!

"Jasper there is a huge difference between using your fist in a fight, and use a flat hand against someone's rear end," he sighed, nearly smiling now… what was so fucking funny?

Okay so perhaps it wouldn't hurt as much as other thing I had tried… but still, it wasn't fair! Carlisle wasn't my father, and he shouldn't care about what I did, and did not do. It was my business, and I shouldn't be punished for that… at least not by him.

"Whatever," I muttered, and decided to change the topic since I didn't have anything else to say. "And anyway, why would you children feel sorry for me, it's them who get a bea… _spanking_," I corrected, and wasn't going to discuss if it should be called a _beating _or not again.

"Jasper as I said, a grounding would be for the rest of the summer… or it wouldn't be fair. A spanking does hurt, but only for a few days, while a whole summer is another matter. In this period you wouldn't be allowed to use a computer, phone or watch TV, and I am sure Esme would have a lot of work for you to do in the garden. You would only be allowed to leave the property with Esme or myself, and would have to ask permission before you took a walk on our property. Life would get very boring," he explained.

And I got the point… because life would get more than just boring, it would be hell! With no phone I couldn't have any contact with Peter, and Carlisle would probably be beside me all time, just to make sure I didn't leave. Yeah… life would be a freaking fucking hell!

"But if I chose the spanking, I wouldn't get grounded?" I questioned.

"Well… yes you would, but it would only be a few days, maybe just even a few hours," he explained. "But if a grounding is my only form of punishment against you, and you make a stunt, like smoking or drinking, I can't trust you and would have to ground you for the rest of the summer. All of this is for your safety," he smiled, and I wanted to gag… _my safety_?

With a sigh I sat back in my chair, and tried to think this through. Carlisle could see I was using my brain for once, and decided to study his hands very intensely, to give me some kind of space… but he wasn't going to leave the room.

So if I chose the grounding, Carlisle would watch me like a hawk, not to mention I would be working… and I never really work. The grounding would also mean no contact with Peter at all, and probably a lot of sick hours with _family bonding time_.

If I chose the spanking on the other hand, it would be quick, and I could get out and get so drunk so I couldn't feel it anymore…

Not to mention he wouldn't get a chance to lay a hand on me. I would knock him out, or beat him before he did, and then he would call Maggie, finally realizing I was too much.

Perhaps this spanking thing would lead to something good? I would be back home in a few days, with Peter and the others, drunk as always and high as soon as possible.

Why did I ever consider choosing the grounding?

"Fine," I sighed, and tried to look like I gave up, or for once and listen to his advice. "I will take the spanking… I don't want to be trapped in this house," I muttered, and sounded like I was sad… but if he ever laid a hand on me, he would be really sorry.

When I looked into Carlisle's eyes he looked almost… _pleased_, like this was the answer he was hoping for, or he thought he tricked me into choosing it? If he did, he was just a sick person, but no matter what he didn't trick me… I tricked him!

"I am pleased to hear that," he smiled. "I would hate to make this house some kind of jail for you, but on the other hand it's my job to keep you safe and loved. You are also too old not to be given the choice, but you chose well, and I am grateful for that. But do know you can't change this choice. You said yes, and no matter how much you plead I won't change my mind," he warned me, but was still smiling like Santa come early this year…

I said it, he is sick.

"Sure," I muttered, and stood up from my chair. "Can I leave now?" I asked like a true teenager, and didn't want to spend one second more in this hell hole of an office.

"Well not just yet," he said, and stood up himself… actually looking a bit tired, but it didn't seem like I was the cause this time. "Remember I said something about clothes shopping yesterday?" he asked, and I groaned irritated…

"You don't mean that?"

"So what do you think, blue or green?" asked Esme, and showed me two horrible shirts, both looking like something Carlisle would wear.

So Carlisle did mean it when he said we were going clothes shopping, actually he meant straight away, as I found myself in his car before I saw what was going on. Right now I was in some stupid store, in this stupid mall, with only Esme as company…

But I would prefer to be alone.

As soon as we reached the mall in Port Angeles, Carlisle excused himself, saying something about a book store, before he disappeared, and left me like a coward. He did mention we would meet for lunch, but right now that felt like hours away, and I was forced to talk with Mrs. Rainbow and puppies here. She had dragged me from store to store, full of clean nice jeans, polo shirts and normal shirts. By now I was caring so much clothes I barely could hold it, including shoes and jackets.

"Does it really matter?" I sighed and didn't care what color it was… I wasn't going to wear it!

"Of course it does," she smiled, and looked on me like I was stupid. "Now I think we should go with the blue one, as I makes your eyes look even bluer," she told me… or more explained to me, as she went over to the next rack of clothes. "You should by the way be happy this isn't my niece Alice, I swear she would have bought the whole store," laughed Esme, and showed me some T-shirt in white, not that I cared.

"Well I guess I am _lucky_," I sighed, and didn't care whoever this Alice was… this was still a nightmare!

Right now it mostly felt like Esme was trying to turn me into _Carlisle Junior_ with all these shirts, and hell, she even brought me a tie! When would I ever need that!

"I never really understood why men hate to shop so much," she smiled, and found another shirt in my size.

I really just hoped she didn't expect me to try it all on?

"Well it's boring, and you women are always so slow," I explained, and remembered how more than one foster mother tried to take me out clothes shopping.

"Well we need to make sure it fits, and has the right color," she explained, almost like I was stupid and couldn't understand. "But let's not speak about that, why don't you tell me something about yourself?" she suggested, and asked the question I hated more than anything. "You are my nephew after all, and I know very little about you,"

"Well perhaps there is nothing to tell?" I suggested, and didn't want to go into details… I barely knew her.

"I don't believe that's true," she told with a smile… she told everything with a smile. "You are what sixteen? There must be something," she pressed, and found another shirt while she spoke.

"Maybe it's just not good things?" I suggested, and thought it would be best to stop before we even started.

But Esme wasn't that easy to stop, and continued to find clothes like nothing was wrong, while she spoke.

"I didn't say it had to be good things, I just want to know you," she told softly, and looked at me with those huge sweet eyes.

"Well if that's what you want," I sighed, and decided to get this over quick. "I can tell you that I lived with my mother until I was eight, and she disappeared, and after that I was placed in the foster system, where everything was fucked up, and that's how I ended like I did," I finished, and wasn't going to go deeper into any of the topics.

Esme looked a bit shocked and thoughtful, as she stopped for a moment and pursed her lips. She look like she was deep in thought, or trying to remember all I said, before she spoke again.

"So your mother… how was she?" she asked, carefully like she thought I was going to cry or something, but I would never cry because of my mother again.

"She was… well she… she was just another person," I sighed, and wasn't going to say the truth… she was a bitch. "I can't say we had a close relationship, and to be honest it's a good thing she disappeared," I spat in anger, as I couldn't control my emotions about this… not after she betrayed me.

"I am sorry to hear," muttered Esme, and was for once not smiling, but looked really sad.

"Don't be," I said harshly, and turned around so she wouldn't see how hurt I was. "It doesn't matter anymore,"

After that Esme changed the subject, and went back to talking about colors, as she thought I would break down or something. The truth was I wasn't going to break down at all… but I was angry, hurt and sad, three feelings I didn't like to deal with.

After what seemed like forever, Esme finally said we were done, and texted Carlisle about lunch. He suggested some Mexican restaurant, just on the next street, and we decided to meet there. First Esme guided me out to his car, where we left all the bags in the trunk, before she placed a hand on my shoulder and walked us down to restaurant. It didn't look as fancy as the one Carlisle took me to yesterday, but more comfy and nice. It was an alight place, with a lot of colors, and Mexican souvenirs everywhere.

"Well hello to you two," greeted Carlisle when we found him, sitting on a table with view of the street. Like a true gentleman he stood up, and seated Esme, before he sat down, and offered me to sit beside him.

He asked all the usual questions, like how was your day? Did you find some good stuff? Was it fun? My answer to the last one was no, but Esme mostly just answered as I remained in silence, and tried to read the god damn menu!

If it wasn't because of the pictures I would have no idea what they served, but from this I could see they had some kind of taco. When the waiter came Esme ordered the same, so there was no embarrassment, as I just asked to have the same as her. For some reason I got this feeling Carlisle did this on propose… to test me perhaps?

When our drinks arrived Carlisle and Esme were still speaking about old friends, and I decided to break in.

"So you guys haven't told me anything about my father yet," I interrupted, fully knowing I was breaking into a conversation. To be honest I did wonder why they never really mentioned him yesterday, as this was one of the few things I actually would like to know about.

But it seemed like a sore spot, at least for Carlisle, who went from smiling to an ugly grimace. Esme didn't look as affected as he, but she got a more serious face, and looked on Carlisle to ask what they should do.

"Well… umm his name was Garrett Cullen," muttered Carlisle, and looked torn… like he wanted to cry or something. "He was the oldest of the two of us, and umm… you look a lot like him," he told him, and looked on Esme for help.

"He was a very kind man, and I am sure he would have been proud of you," she lied, because one thing was clear… he wouldn't be proud of me, not that I cared.

"But what did he do, was he married? Does he have any other children?" I asked a bit nervous, as I couldn't handle suddenly to have a brother too… that would just be too much.

By the mention of children, Carlisle suddenly looked very pale, and had to shallow a few time before he could answer.

"Well umm, we haven't heard of any other children, so no. And no he wasn't married either, and for work he didn't do anything the last few years," he said cold and short, like he didn't want to talk about it… was there something I didn't know?

"But what did he do before then?" I tried to press, and saw how Carlisle got even paler, like he was scared to tell. With panic in his eyes he looked on Esme, who looked helpless at him, before they turned their heads to look at me.

"Listen Jasper… your fathers work… its very hard for me to talk about," sighed Carlisle, but I couldn't really see what was so horrible… didn't he just work in an office or something.

"Well then what about me?" I asked, and tried to press. "Did he know I existed, and why didn't he come for me?" I tried, and felt how a deeper part of me craved for that answer… craved to know the truth, and if it was me, if there was something wrong with me?

Carlisle looked like a ghost now, while Esme just looked really sad. Both of them showed regret and pain in their eyes, and it took a few moments before Carlisle finally answered.

"Umm… well yes, Garrett did know about you, but well, he wasn't capable enough to take care of you," sighed Carlisle, and looked like he wanted to throw up. "When Garrett knew about you, he was in a very vulnerable state, and even he knew he couldn't take care of you. He decided it was best you stayed where you were, and didn't mention you before he was dying," he explained, but none of them understood anything!

Even living with him would have been better! Everything would have been than the life I was given, and for the first time I couldn't hide just how hurt I was. It was shining out of my eyes, and both of them clearly saw it, while I tried to find an answer.

"But why didn't he come for me later?" I asked instead, and remembered all those times I dreamed of that moment. The moment were my real father came through the door and told me I was going with him.

But as I got older, and realized fairytales didn't exist.

"Well… it's… he was sick until the end, and couldn't take care of you," explained Esme, as her husband seemed buried in deep thoughts.

"But why was he sick… what were the symptoms?" I pressed, a bit desperate, as I needed some answers… why couldn't he take care of me?

But neither Carlisle nor Esme looked like they were going to say anything, until Carlisle gave up, and finally talked.

"Listen, I promise I will tell everything, but not right now," he told me, as a tear ran down his cheek. "You deserve to know everything, but I need to prepare myself for this talk, and I don't want to ruin this afternoon. So for now just know he did what he could, even though it wasn't enough, and I know he loved you," he smiled sadly, and patted my hand. "I know he wanted you to be here, with us,"

I never mention my dad again, at least not that day, as it was too much for me… and the Cullens.

But I knew one thing, Carlisle lied… he didn't love me, and he didn't want me to be there…

The question was if he wanted me at all, or I was some shadow he didn't want to think about?

* * *

So hey guys, sorry it has been so long, but well life goes up and down sometimes.

So really truly thnak you for all those review there has been, i really hope you will continue, as that was what made me inspired to write more.

And someone complained about the grammar, so from now on it goes through my beta before you see it. And since she has a life too, just I, it may take a bit longer between the updates, but I am back on track.

sgswan15, thank you for being amazing :)

And please **Review guys!**


	9. Chapter 9

Story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 9

Carlisle's P.O.V

* * *

"So kids, how has your day been?" I asked, and tried to make some kind of conversation, but there was an awkward silence no matter what I did.

"Great!" said Emmett cheerfully, as no one else was going to answer. "We have been on the beach all day, enjoying the sun or at least when it decided to appear," he said happily, and I had never been more thankful Emmett was around.

Because Jasper wasn't going to say a word, and Rosalie and Edward were just starring angrily at him, like he was going to jump up and bite all of us. Both of them saw him as a threat, or at least someone that didn't belong here, and I knew they wouldn't relax for the next few days.

"That sounds nice," smiled Esme, and tried to join the conversation too. "Perhaps Jasper could go along tomorrow?" she suggested kindly, and the positive thing was Jasper reacted… the negative thing was his answer.

"I would prefer not to… I don't like beaches," he said coldly, and went back to eating his lasagna, clearly saying that this wasn't something he would discuss.

But I wasn't going to agree that easy. This boy needed to socialize with well-behaved normal kids at his age, and not those type he hangs out with at home. On top of that, Rosalie and Edward needed to accept him, and what could fix that better than a day on a beach…

Either that, or they would try to drown him?

"Have you ever been to a beach before?" I asked him, and knew there weren't any beaches in Dallas… so perhaps this would be exciting for him, if he would allow it.

"No, and I don't want to," he muttered, and glared back at Rosalie, who was trying to kill him with her eyes.

"Seriously dude?" asked Emmett amazed. "You have never seen a beach before?" he asked, and in his world it wasn't possible… Emmett lived on the beach during the summer.

"No I live in Dallas, and there is no beach there," sighed Jasper irritated, like Emmett was too stupid to see it could be true. "And don't call me _dude_!" he snapped, giving him a glare before he turned back to glare on Rosalie, who was even more angry.

"Sorry man!" apologized Emmett, and showed his hands like he would say _I surrender_.

Before Jasper could snap at him, and tell him not to call him _man_, I gave him a warning glare that shut him up. After a day with shopping, Jaspers energy seemed to be used, and he could freak out at any point, that boy had a temper.

"Just call me Jasper, nothing else," he muttered, and went back to eating his food.

I looked over at Esme, feeling hopeless as the boy seemed to push us away all the time. She looked just as tired as me, and shook her head sadly, saying we could talk later.

"Well you boys could also go fishing tomorrow?" she suggested. "It would be a nice way for you three boys to bond, and Rosalie you and I could call Bella and ask if she would like a girls day?" she tried, and made Rosalie smile for a moment, probably because she didn't have to be with Jasper. "Oh, and Carlisle you could go with the boys!" she smiled, clearly another way to say it would be good if someone kept an eye on them, or on Jasper and Edward.

"Of course my dear, that's a great plan," I smiled, even though Jasper and Edward both looked irritated. Rosalie on the other hand was smiling a huge evil smile at Edward, which made him make some kind of grimace… guess my children couldn't even work as a team against someone they hated.

"Yeah, LET'S DO IT!" cheered Emmett, clearly the only one who loved the idea… or he just loved fishing.

"Yeah Eddie, this is going to be _fun_!" snorted Rosalie, and gave him a huge fake smile… just great.

"Define the word _fun_ for me, I think I forgot what it meant!" spat Edward, and glared angrily at Jasper, like it was his fault.

"Children!" I warned, before anyone began to argue, or Jasper attacked someone.

I think it was getting to be too much for Jasper. His hand was already formed into fist around the utensil, and he was holding on the knife like it was a weapon. Unfortunately Edward didn't see it, as he was busy being angry with both of them, and didn't know Jasper was close to the end of what he could take.

"_What is your problem_?" he hissed angry, and would have stood up if I didn't stop him. "It's not like I asked to be here!" he spat, and now clearly had the whole table's attention.

Esme sighed, as this felt like Deja vu from yesterday, and if no one stepped in someone would get hurt. Even Emmett looked sad, while Rosalie and Edward now was prepared for fight.

"Then why don't you just leave?" suggested Rosalie hard, and crossed her arms. "It's not like we want you to be here either!"

For god sake Rosalie!

"Hey that's enough!" I interrupted, and stood up to show who was had the authority here. "This is my house, and I don't want to hear such things!" I told all of them sternly, and grabbed Jaspers arm before he could do something.

"Hey let me go!" he complained, but I didn't listen as I turned my attention toward my two children, who never had disappointed me so much as these two days.

"Listen! This behavior ends right now!" I told them sternly, and made Jasper stand up too. "If any of you say something insulting to Jasper again, or mean remarks, my study is the next place you will see, and I will make you regret it. Understand?" I asked, and was beginning to loss my temper with those two.

None of them said anything, even though Edward already looked like he was ready to say yes, but he wouldn't do it unless Rosalie did it. And Rosalie still looked like she wouldn't' move and inch on the matter.

"I asked, _Underst_and" I repeated firmly, and tighten my grip around Jasper's arm, as he tried to get away.

"Get away from me!" he complained, and fought even harder to get away, but when I gave him a stern look he stopped on the spot.

"Be quiet," I ordered, and turned back to my children. "Now I will ask again, is it understood?" I asked, and was losing my patience.

"Yes Dad," they both said, and finally gave up.

"Good," I sighed, and promised myself to speak with them later. "Now as punishment you will take the dishes, and make sure the kitchen is clean. Afterward you will give your mother all of your electronic devices, and go straight to bed," I ordered.

"But Dad!" complained Rosalie, and groaned irritated. "It's Emmett and Jasper who should take the dishes tonight, and it's way too early to go to bed!" she argued, but I wasn't going to give in on this one.

"Well it's eight, and children go to bed at eight. Right now you two behaved like children, so you will take you punishment, and perhaps gain my respect again by tomorrow. Now goodnight you two," I said, and gave Esme and Emmett a sad look to apologize, because they had to witness this.

Without any further words I dragged Jasper out of the kitchen, much to his protest, but I could feel how his anger was coming of in waves. You could almost feel it, and I didn't even get him to the stairs, before he tried to get away from me again.

"Hey leave me alone!" he complained, as I dragged him up the stairs to my office. "Why do I have to go to your office when they don't!" he groaned, but I didn't answer before we were in my office, and the door was closed behind us.

"Because you need to calm down," I told him, and placed him on the couch before he could protest. This was a bit like giving a child _corner time_, except he wasn't in a corner, but it was to help him calm down. Right now he was too worked up for his own good, and his temper problems were bigger than I thought.

"Hey I don't need to calm down!" he protested, and tried to stand up, but I pushed him down again.

"Yes you do," I told him sternly, and didn't release him before I was sure he wouldn't try to stand up again. "Jasper you are way too worked up, so right now you will calm down, while I will be at my desk, reading. As soon as you are calm we can speak, but until then you will stay right here, and don't utter a word," I told him sternly, and walked over to my shelf where I found a good book.

I heard him mutter a few curses, but after that he stopped, and sat quietly and stared on his hands. It seemed like he finally accepted _the time out_, and I made myself comfortable in my chair, as I pretended I was reading.

In reality I was thinking… hard.

This time I was more disappointed with my own children, than Jasper. It was those two who started it, and knew it would piss Jasper off, even enough to attack someone. For Edward and Rosalie, this all was about one thing: getting him out of our lives. They thought if he attacked one of us, I would throw him out immediately, but I owned Garrett and this boy too much to even consider it.

But it didn't stop Edward and Rosalie, and right now I was ashamed to call myself a father. Most of the time they were more well behaved, but right now they were acting like two spoiled children, and I wonder if that was what I raised them to be? I never thought of my children as perfect, but I thought they learned the most basic things, and right now they seemed almost… mean.

I wonder what Jasper was thinking about us right now, as a family?

Not that I had done anything to add to a perfect image. After I told him how I spanked my children, I was sure he would have a hard time seeing me as anyway near nice, but for some reason it didn't seem to bother him. Back when I told Emmett about my rules, he nearly panicked and wouldn't talk with me for days, but Jasper acted like it was nothing… or at least at last.

But sometimes I had to remember where Jasper came from. A rough society were a beating wasn't anything unusual, and I suspected he had been in many fights over the time. On top of that, I didn't look like he thought I could give a spanking, or would be able to… probably because even I knew he would fight against it.

But I admit I had been rather sneaky today.

Before he even arrived I had been wondering how to do this, and how to make him accept I had the authority. I knew already from the start he wouldn't accept that I spanked him, and clearly not if it was his only choice, or I didn't even tell him and just did it. So I planned I would take him to my office, and at least tell him what the consequences were, but I also knew he would protest and perhaps even call Maggie his social worker.

So instead I gave him a choice, and a choice where I knew he would chose the spanking. I knew Jasper was just like his father, in more ways than he even knew, and patience was not one of his strengths. So the thought about a grounding, and a long one, wouldn't be his first choice. Even if he did choose the grounding, I knew he would come pleading a few days later, and this way he thought it was his own choice to take the spanking. But in truth it was just a way to make him accept it. I knew from the start what he would choose, and how it would end.

Not that he ever would know about it.

After ten minutes Jasper finally calmed down, at least enough to look at me, and tell me he was ready to talk. With my hand I offered him to take a seat in front of me, and prepared myself for this discussion.

"So umm… are you going to punish me or something?" he asked, more curious than scared. "Because I didn't do anything!" he added to his defense, and sat down in front of my desk.

"No," I sighed, and shook my head. "I am not going to punish you, as you clearly weren't the guilty one down there, but you needed to calm down," I explained, and gave him an assuring smile, but he didn't notice.

"So I can leave now?" he asked hopeful, and was already trying to stand up.

"No not so fast, we still need to talk," I told him, and made him sit down with a sigh again.

"But it wasn't me, it was them!" he protested, and looked like a child, as he crossed his arms.

"I know, and I apologize on my children's behalf," I told him honestly, and was truly embarrassed. "But you must understand Rosalie and Edward see you as a threat right now, and want you to leave. _Why_ is there own story to tell, but please remember they don't know who you are yet, and if they did, they wouldn't be like this. At the end they are good kids, sometimes they are just too spoiled and jealous," I explained, and didn't like to talk about my children in such a way, but deep down it was the truth.

"Well I want to leave too, so I guess we can agree on something," muttered Jasper, and broke my heart a bit, but I couldn't let him see that.

"Jasper you are new here, you just need to get used to it first, then things will be fine," I assured him, but I was just as much trying to assure myself.

"Keep believing in that," he told me coldly. "Right now I am just counting the days,"

Well that was just what I needed to hear. Of course I already knew he was counting the days, waiting on the summer ending, but we disagreed a few places. Jasper thought he would return to Dallas when this was over, while I am doing my best to make sure he doesn't.

"Well Jasper, just because the summer ends doesn't mean you are going back," I tried to explain, and thought it was best to get this out of the world now.

"Maggie said I was supposed to be here for the summer!" he interrupted, and looked like he was going into a panic attack.

"Well yes, for now it's just the summer, to see if we can get along," I explained patiently.

"And we are just _getting along_ so well," he snorted, and clearly shared his opinion.

"Well you have only been here for two days, so I think it's a bit early to make any conclusions," I told him, and decided to jump to another topic before we got into an argument. "Now the real reason I dragged you up here was for you to calm down, and ask you to give Rosalie and Edward a chance, not to mention Emmett. I promise you all can be really great friends, but not as long you all hate each other," I told him, and hoped he would realize this… then Rosalie and Edward would realize it to, soon.

"Shouldn't you be speaking with your own children about this?" he asked coldly, and could clearly not see that he could do anything.

"Yes, and I will speak with them tomorrow, you just got to know it first," I explained, as Edward and Rosalie would be in bed soon.

"Well, I will try," he lied, as we both clearly knew it was empty words, but at least it was a start. "Can I leave now?" he asked, and was tired of my company.

"I guess you can," I sighed.

"Good then I am going to take a walk, I need to get some fresh air," he muttered, and panic instantly filled my mind.

It was dark outside, we were surrounded by the woods, and Jasper didn't know this place at all. He could easily get lost, and to be honest I didn't trust him right now… it wouldn't surprise me if he went outside to smoke or something.

"I would prefer you didn't do that, or at least allowed me to go with you," I stopped him, and stood up too, more or less ready to grab him. "The woods are a dangerous place," I warned him, and went over to stand in front of him… to block the door.

"Look I just want some fresh air!" he defended. "And I will stay around the house okay? My curfew is in an hour, I won't be long, so calm down. Sometimes I just need to get some fresh air, and let my thoughts run for a while… today has just been long and hard okay?" he asked, and looked on me with begging eyes.

So I didn't like this… at all, but at the same time I understood he was under a lot of stress, and could need a moment now and then. On top of that it wasn't his curfew yet, so he wasn't breaking any rules, and perhaps I would be a good moment to show I trusted him.

"Very well," I sighed, and couldn't believe I was doing this. "But stay around the house, don't wander into the woods, and have you phone near you," I told him, and smiled as he ran off, clearly ready to get away from me.

I decided I needed to talk with Esme, to get some feelings of my chest, and found her in our bedroom, where she was reading.

"Hello my dear," she greeted, and pated the spot next to her. My wife knew me better than most, and since we met it had always been her I could talk with, and her I always knew would understand. Just by reading my face she knew I needed to get some feelings out in the air, and placed her book on the nightstand, to tell me I had her attention.

"Hello," I sighed, and laid down beside, most of all to relax for a moment.

"So is Jasper okay?" she asked, and was just as disappointed with our children as I was.

"Yes… he has calmed down, and is outside taking some fresh air," I informed her, and squeezed her hand, like I was trying to tell everything would be okay. "He sometimes reminds more of Garrett than I think is healthy," I muttered, and felt a knot in my stomach, as I mentioned my brother out loud.

Lately since Jasper came, I have had a hard time talking about Garrett, mostly because of the past, and the sad way he died. Jasper didn't just act like him, he looked like him, and he was Garretts legacy and in some ways future. This morning I had to stop myself thinking he was Garrett, and when he asked about his father… I couldn't even tell him about him.

"At least he got the temper," agreed Esme, and we both remembered the temper both my father and Garrett shared. Sometimes they could argue about nothing, and so loud the neighbors came to see if everything was alright. Of course it was only after my mother's death.

"Not the mention the behavior, drinking, smoking, and the look," I added.

"But he hasn't been spoiled like Garrett was," she reminded me. "He has a different past, and it has formed him to a different creature, he is not Garrett, Carlisle… he is Jasper, our nephew," she smiled, and ran her hand through my hair. "And some day he has to know who his father was, even the bad things,"

"I know," I sighed, and still remembered lunch very clear. "It's just hard."

It was actually more than hard. Because when Jasper asked about his father, I suddenly had no idea what I should tell him, or if it would have a bad effect on him. Because the truth was Garrett didn't want him, or at least he knew he couldn't… and deep down I think it made him sad to think about Jasper. There were parts of Garretts life I didn't know much about, but I did remember how he was sixteen years ago… just around when Jasper was born.

"But he still deserves to know everything," muttered Esme into my ear, and looked at me with so much love and passion I felt peaceful for a moment.

"I just don't want him to know all the bad stuff," I admitted, and felt sad as I thought about it. "I don't want him to hear about his drunk father, who couldn't even take care of himself, and didn't mention him before he died," I muttered. "Perhaps I should seek help about this… talk to someone, so I can talk to Jasper?" I suggested, and meant it honestly.

I visited a psychologist twice after Garrett died. Mostly to get all my feelings of the chest, and to make sure I was alright. After that I felt better, until Jasper arrived, and reminded me so much of his father. When my mother died, I went weekly to a psychologist for a year, before I felt okay, but it was a good thing. I would never be ashamed about my sadness, and it was better to get things out before they bottled up, and I broke down.

"Well I don't think you're the only one who should get some help," informed Esme, and I immediately knew who she was talking about.

"Has Jasper said something?" I asked curious, and remembered they after all spent some time at the mall today… did something happen? "Is it his temper?" I asked, and maybe she was right… some help would be good, before it controlled him.

"No it's more his past," she sighed. "I asked him to tell me a bit about himself, and he more or less told me he was homeless as we know, and was left by his mother when he was eight," she explained.

"Yes I remember we read that in his profile," I nodded, and had never even considered how painful that would be for him.

"Well it's not just that. It's more how he wouldn't talk about her. Just said it was a good thing she disappeared, and it didn't matter anymore… but deep down he was hurt," she muttered sadly, and sounded heartbroken. "Perhaps this is where it all started, and if he opened up about his mother, he wouldn't get so angry all the time. This could be the key to his anger,"

I was silent for a moment, as I tried to understand what she was saying… could it be that simple? Was it all something we could link back to his mother, and whatever happened back then? It made sense that it had something to do what his anger, but would he even admit it? Could anyone make him open up?

"Well I can try and call Maggie, perhaps she can tell if he ever has talked to someone before," I sighed, and pinched the bridge of my nose, as I tried to collect my thoughts. "But I can't promise we can make Jasper go into therapy… I can't promise anyone can open him up," I muttered, and kissed her on top of her head.

"We can always try," she smiled, and touched my cheek softly.

The rest of the evening we just lay there, and talked. About the past and the future, today and tomorrow, and what the rest of the summer would look like. There was no doubt Jasper would be more than a handful, and that he would test us to our limits, but was he right… should we be counting the days too? I knew I couldn't abandon him, but if the choice was between the rest of the family and him, I would have to choose them.

As the time ticked by one hour became two, two because three, and three became four…

Way past his curfew, there was still no sign of him.

* * *

So hey guys! ;D

I guess Jasper is going to be in some trouble soon! :D

And i really must thank all those of you who has reviewed, it has been a pleasure to read you comments, and i hope you will do so once more :D

And thank you to my wonderful beta for doing such a quick job :D

so **review!**


	10. Chapter 10

A story by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 10

Jasper's P.O.V

* * *

Carlisle Cullen was too nice for his own good, I thought, as I stepped out of the bus, and looked up at the dark night.

If he thought he could trust me, or believe me when I said I was going to take a walk, he was wrong. If I wanted fresh air I could just have opened my window, or sat on the porch, but on no, Carlisle serious believed I needed to walk.

But he wouldn't be suspicious, at least not yet, as it was only a half hour ago that I left Forks. He probably still thought I was outside, getting some_ fresh air_, and well I was outside, just not for the fresh air.

I admit my plan was very… stupid. So yea I was in La Push now, but could I even find _Jacob Black_, and if I did would he help me? Perhaps he was asleep and would ask me to fuck off, but if this guy respected Peter at all, he would give me what I asked for.

So it was clear Carlisle would get pissed very soon, especially when I didn't pick up my phone, and probably didn't go home tonight. He would know exactly what I had been up to, but I also knew I would give him a chance to spank me. I more than once considered never going back at all, but he would find me at some point, so I could just as well go back and ignore him.

Because _La Push_ was fucking small. It was some kind of native community or something, and to be honest I couldn't see where there could be any gang, but Peter wouldn't lie to me. On the other hand, it was so small I simply had to find them, or they wouldn't be here, but again Peter wouldn't lie to me.

It was actually easier to get here than I thought. The bus ticket was paid for with the money Peter gave me, for situations like this, and Carlisle believed every word I said. He didn't even check if I had my phone on me, or in which direction I walked… he just let me leave.

And it was even simpler to find _Jacob Black_, or at least where I would imagine he was. Because as soon as I reached the beach, there were a huge bonfire, and what looked like a lot of empty bottles. Young guys around my age, if not younger, were sitting around it, chatting…

And looking pretty high to be honest.

All of them looked like Native Americans, with their brown skin and dark hair, and this was truly a fucking tribe or something. The rest of the town had to be old people, who went to bed hours ago, while the sun was still up. This was also far away from most houses, and even with their loud music no one heard them.

This was actually a genius place. I mean it didn't look like there was any police stations in this city, not to mention no sheriff would be up, and they could pretty much do what they wanted to.

Slowly my eyes went over every person, and ended up with nine people. Only one of them was a girl, who was sitting on the lap of who I only could guess was Mr. Black… or at least that was my hope.

The guy was just one six-pack, full of muscles, with a pretty little face. He looked cool enough, but I bet a fist in his face would make him run home to his mommy, and make him look weak. Peter always told me every guy had a weak spot, and this one was just playing tough… the truth was he didn't even know what a fight was.

It wasn't before I reached the beach when they saw me, or those who were still awake, and not smoking some kind of joint. The leader himself looked sober enough, just like the guy beside him, and their eyes narrowed into mine as I approached.

"You must be Jacob Black," I said coldly as I reached them, and made sure they understood I was a dangerous person, someone you should show some fucking respect.

"Depends who is asking," he said slowly, and kissed his bitch on the mouth. She looked a bit older than him, with short hair… but I guess she was pretty enough, at least for their standard.

"I am The Major," I introduced. "A part of _The Captains gang_," I explained, and his eyes widened as I mentioned _The Captain_. It was Peter's gang name, and was mostly used when he sold drugs or alcohol. Everyone in our gang had a name, mostly a title from the navy or the military…

I was _Major_.

"Leah, find somewhere else to sit," ordered Jacob harshly, and more or less pushed the girl of his lap, as I suddenly had his attention. "_The Captain_, you say?" he asked, and raised an eyebrow. "If you know him, tell me… what's his real name?" he asked clever… but to be honest, he was an idiot.

Before he could blink, or even breathe, I slipped my hand around his throat, and squeezed a bit. Just as I expected he was fucking weak, and panic went through his eyes. Even the guy beside him didn't move, and the rest was too high and drunk to react.

"Listen _Black_," I spat, and moved my face so it was inches away from his. "If you think I am stupid enough to tell you _the captain's _name, you're fucking stupid!" I hissed, and made him gasp as I squeezed a bit harder. "And if you think I am that easy to fool, you are dead wrong!"

After that, I tightened my grip around his throat, until he stopped fighting, and all life seemed to fade from his eyes. His huge brown eyes was staring into mine, knowing life would be over in a few seconds, and I would be behind it. But just before he wouldn't have survived, I released him, and gasping he fell to the ground, placing both hand protectively on his throat.

"Now listen to me!" I commanded, as it seemed like he could breathe again. "It's only those _the captain _trusts that knows his real name, and he would never trust… a fucking _mongrel_ like you! You own pack wouldn't even stand up and help, probably all eager to take over!" I spat, and watched with disgust the miserable excuse God chose to call a human.

But no matter, I was speaking the truth. His own _brothers_ wouldn't even stand up to help him, and every one of them would gladly be the new boss, and deal with Peter. Jacob Black could easily be replaced, and he knew that, and that was the only thing that made him shut up right now.

Instead he only nodded, and tried to get up, but I pushed him down roughly.

"I am not finished!" I hissed, and kneeled so I was close to his face. Once again I grabbed his shirt, and dragged his face even closer to mine, as I enjoyed the fear his eyes displayed. "Just know, that if you ever try to trick me again, I will kill you!" I threatened, and whispered so only he could hear it… but the message was clear enough.

The truth was I have never killed anyone, and I was not sure if I could, but it didn't hurt to threaten people. Even Peter's hands were clean, but on the outside rumors said we were both murders, but we started those rumors ourselves to gain respect.

"I get it… I won't ask again!" promised Jacob with a hoarse voice, as I allowed him to get up again.

"Good," I nodded, and sat down on his chair, so he was the one who would have to stand up.

This was all about getting respect, and I know it seemed a bit… violent, but that was how you get to guys like Jacob. I knew Peter didn't care about him, he was just another one on his list, but Jacob cared a lot about Peter…. Since it was his only way to get drugs.

I knew before I arrived what type Jacob would be, and I knew he would try to trick me. He would play strong and hard, but he was just a small puppy who would bark and then run. It was only logical for him to see if I would tell Peter's real name, so Jacob could use it later to blackmail Peter. Tell him to send drugs for free, or he would give the name to the police, and Peter would be a dead man if the police caught him.

"Now Jacob," I began, and leaned back his chair. "I assume _The Captain _has told you I will be here for some time," I began, and continued as he nodded slightly. "Then I assume you remember what he told you?" I asked, and wanted to hear him admit.

"He… he told me _The Major_ from his gang would be here for a few weeks, and I should give him whatever he asked for," he muttered, so low I barely heard it, but no reason to repeat it… this just made him look even more weak.

"That's correct, and you should be happy I _don't_ report this little accident of yours," I spat, and saw panic for a brief moment in his eyes, before it was replaced with relief.

"Thank you," he muttered grateful, as we both knew Jacob was nothing in Peters eyes, and if I told this… he would never receive anymore drugs, alcohol or cigarettes.

"Now get me a bottle of vodka, two packs of cigarettes and joints," I ordered, and he ran off with full speed to get what I asked for.

The rest of his friends were just staring at me. Some with fear, and some just dumb because they were too high to understand the situation. The guy beside me, even moved a bit to get away from me, and Jacob's bitch Leah looked on me with interest.

It didn't take long for Jacob to get what I needed, and two minutes later he came running back with a brown bag. He looked almost scared as he offered it to me, and skeptical I opened it to see if everything was there. Jacob was even sweet enough to but a lighter down there, and with a nod I stood up from his seat.

"Very well Jacob, now I just need your car keys," I smiled, and stretched my hand out.

"What?" he gasped, and looked on me like I was insane, but I was dead serious.

"I said give them to me," I repeated, a bit more impatient this time.

"But it's my car…" he muttered, almost whining like a child.

"Yes and if you want to live it will be mine for now," I hissed, and was beginning to consider if this boy was dump or something. "Now give me your keys!" I demanded, and considered if I should let him say hello to my fist.

But Jacob must have realized how badly this would end, as his found his keys, and sadly gave them to me. With an evil grin I accepted them, and was going to walk away, but I could see there was a question on his lips.

"It's the motorcycle by the entrance to the beach," he explained, almost ashamed. "My car is at home,"

"Well this will do fine," I sighed irritated, and waited as I could sense there was more.

"And umm… when will I see my Harley again?" he asked scared, and almost looked afraid… like I was going to hit him.

But instead I just gave him an evil smile, patted his shoulder almost hard, and looked into his eyes with a hard stare.

"You will get it back when I don't need it anymore," I informed him, and didn't even give him a chance to talk, as I walked away.

I almost wanted to laugh when I found his _Harley_. Because it was an old piece of shit, that barely could drive, but I guess than it was better than taking the bus again.

Twenty minutes later I found a good spot, close to the Cullen home, but not on their ground. It was a small space in the forest, where I could keep the motorcycle safe, along with my alcohol and stuff. You couldn't' see it from the highway, and here I could actually be alone… like I was meant to be.

So I don't know how long I was there, or what time it was, but I do know everything was feeling great for once. The combination of vodka and joint were perfect, and I made sure I didn't overdo it, but just enough to feel great.

If anyone came by it must have been a beautiful view, me sitting there with my joint, and taking a sip from the bottle. If it was me who was watching I would have thought, _what a lovely view, this guy looks peaceful_…

But I guess people like Carlisle would have called the hospital.

So over the years I have done this a lot… taking drugs and drinking, and the more you do it, the harder it gets to be completely drunk. The good thing is you have more control, and can reach the point where everything is just _perfect_! Perfect doesn't actually fit it, it's more like God for once looked down on me, and blessed me. It's like I see his goddamn fucking light for once, and for once he allows me to be happy, just for a moment at least.

But even God won't let the light shine on you forever, and I knew I had to get home… or at least back to where I lived for now. Even in my state I knew it was way past curfew, and Mr. Perfect would be pissed, but that didn't mean I cared… at all. Right now I was where I wanted to be, and even his ugly angry face couldn't destroy that.

So I left the motorcycle and the bag in some bushes, where only I would find it, before I stumbled back to the highway, and tried to get home. I knew it would be best to leave everything in the forest, or Carlisle might find out exactly where I had been, and then there would clearly not be any more trips to _La Drugs... _or what was it now named?

I tried to get back home, knowing I looked like an idiot, and was walking like I was handicapped or something. I more than once fell down on the ground, only to try and get up again, mostly because I couldn't feel a shit with this stuff!

At some point I finally found _the white house_, and tried to walk down their driveway. I don't know how long it took me to get there, and hour perhaps… or just five minutes, but at least it was still dark. Not to mention the lights were on in the living room, which meant I would have to face Mr. Perfect, but I had a few things to say if our paths did cross tonight.

It felt like forever when I finally reached the porch, and more or less fell against the door, before I grabbed the doorknob and steadied myself. When I was stable enough, I finally opened the door, and stepped inside.

"Why is it so fucking bright in here!" I complained, and tried to hide my eyes from the horrible light. In my ears, I was speaking perfectly clear, but from earlier experiences, I knew people only got the half of what I said.

I half expected Mr. Perfect to answer, or scream something else, but for some reason there was only silence.

So perhaps he was asleep? Maybe he was just sweet enough to leave the lights on, so I could find my way back to his house?

I decided to take the chance, and just go into the living room, but as soon as I stepped inside, two pairs of eyes were staring straight into mine. An ugly grimace went along with it, and I watched how something that almost looked like sadness crossed his eyes, but I decided I was mistaken.

Because in an armchair, like some fucking mafia dude, sat Carlisle Cullen himself. He was still dressed in his casual clothes, and wore his nice dress shoes, not to mention his hair sat perfectly. To be honest he looked fucking tired, but still awake, and looked like he was some kind of FBI agent.

But for some reason he remained silent, like I was supposed to say something first. Did he want me to apologize?

"Why the fuck are you still up?" I asked, and threw myself down on the couch in front of his chair. It looked like he wanted to talk, so we were going to fucking talk!

He looked a bit surprised, raised an eyebrow, and gave me a skeptical look… not that I get what his fucking problem was.

"I was waiting on you," he finally answered, with a calm cold voice. "But it seems like we have to teach you how a clock works, and what time means," he smiled, as he thought it was some kind of joke. "Because your curfew was four hours ago, so tell me Jasper has anyone ever taught you how to read a clock?" he asked, almost kindly… but he wasn't going to talk to me like a child!

"Look about that… curfew thing, can't we just skip it?" I asked innocently, and didn't even know why I was asking… I guess it was the vodka speaking. "It's not going to work anyway… and… and I am too old for it!" I pointed out, and thought I sounded smart.

Carlisle looked calm enough still, perhaps a bit disappointed, but calm. He actually looked almost amused, and leaned back in his chair… I guess this was going to be a long conversation.

"How much did you drink Jasper?" he asked instead, and totally avoided the curfew subject… perhaps he didn't have some smart answer?

"Umm… I have no fucking idea, enough," I answered, and knew there was only one vodka bottle… but how much of it did I drink?

"So you can't even tell how much you drank, come home three in the morning, but you think you are old enough to take care of yourself?" he asked amazed, and sent me one of those _I know best_ looks.

But I was fucking responsible! I knew how to survive this shit… this fucking thing called my life, and many couldn't claim that! I was a fucking survivor, like… well like all those hero's in movies, and he shouldn't sit here and tell me I was a child! He was acting like I fucking needed him, when the truth was I mostly wanted him to piss off, and never come back.

"Listen… dude!" I began, and tried to keep myself from falling of the couch. "I have fucking taken care of myself… forever!" I told him firmly… or at least I thought it was firmly. "And you haven't been there, Esme haven't been there, my fucking dad wasn't there… and even my mom fucking left! So yes, I am fucking old enough!"

If it wasn't because I was so tired, I might have been angry, and probably ended up hitting him, but right now I was too drunk. Instead I was just fucking irritated, and felt like he was talking about something he didn't understand.

"Well Jasper you have done a poor job," said Mr. Perfect sadly, and shook his head… like he thought I couldn't understand his words. "I do know people haven't been there for you in the past, but Esme and I are here now, so I think you should try and accept that. But more importantly you should be thankful, and understand that when I set a curfew, it's for your own good. Just like I don't want you to drink and smoke, all for your own safety," he said like he was some fucking wise person, but his words were shit in my ears.

"I drink because it's good for me!" I argued, and crossed my arms like a child.

"Well why do you think it's good for you, why do you drink Jasper?" asked Carlisle calm, like he was my psychologist or something!

"Because it makes me feel good!" I informed him, and remembered how many foster parents I told this shit too. "I drink because I see the fucking light for a moment, and feel there is a space for me… just for a few seconds," I told him, and somewhere in my mind I registered he looked sad, but I was too drunk to understand why.

"You don't need to drink for that, Jasper. There is space for you in this world," said Carlisle, and I was beginning to get irritated as he used my name all the time… I knew he was speaking to me! There wasn't anyone else.

"No… no there is not!" I snorted. "You see there are the rich people, the normal people, and then there are the invisibles," I explained, and thought all that made sense in my head. "You and your family are clearly in the richest ranks, while I, I belong with the invisibles, and do you know why we are invisible? Because there is no fucking space for us! There is no future, or light at the end of the road… there is just alcohol," I informed him, and didn't really care what he thought about my view, but I was going to say it anyway.

"That's not true," he tried to convince me, and didn't even look angry anymore, or even disappointed. "There is space for you, right here with your family. Your future is right here, with us…"

"Don't you get it!" I interrupted, and didn't care what he was saying. "My future is with a bottle of vodka, and some heavy drugs… not with you! You and your whole family are some kind of strange aliens, I don't understand you! And I never will!" I spat, and thought it would be good for him to hear the truth now, then it wouldn't hurt later.

"I hope you will understand with time," he sighed, and stood up. "Now let's get you to bed," he ordered, and grabbed my arms to stand me up.

"I don't need to sleep, not tired dude!" I complained, and tried to sit down again, but he was already guiding me upstairs.

"Well I am sure you will sleep anyway," he told me patiently, and more or less carried me…

That was the last thing that happened, before darkness surrounded me, and I fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

So i am osrry to those who expected some kind of punishment in this chapter, but Jasper was drunk, and Carlisle would want him to remember this. But instead i hope you guy got a small bite of why Jasper drinks :D

Not i am updating so fast to say thanks to all those who helped me reach the first 50 reviews, because you have just been so amazing, and i would really like you to continue being so :D

And for those who waited on Jacob... sorry, he is not exactly a hero in this one :D

Now do you best, and REVIEW :D


	11. Chapter 11

Story written by The Blue Darling

Edited by my beta sgswan15

* * *

The Missing Lighthouse

Chapter 11

Carlisle's P.O.V

* * *

"Carlisle are you sure?" asked Esme for the fourth time, while I paced back and forth in the living room.

"He needs more help than I can give him, and as long as he refuses to open up to me, I think it's best to get some professional help," I answered, and wasn't going to change my decision, not after what I witnessed last night.

"But he will see it as a punishment," she tried. "Especially after you have spanked him… perhaps it would be better if we waited a few days," she suggested, and looked pleading on me from her couch.

"He will see it as a punishment no matter what I tell him, and his first consultation with Dr. Denali is in two days…" I argued, but was interrupted by Esme.

"Are you even sure it's a good idea to let him be in therapy with Eleazar? You know he and your dad have been great friends for years. Perhaps Jasper would feel better with a stranger, someone who wasn't involved with our family?" she suggested, and looked more than skeptical. Esme mostly didn't like how rushed this decision was made, and that someone who was a close friend to my father should be his psychologist.

"It will be fine Esme. Eleazar won't tell anyone what happens in that room, unless Jasper gives him permission of course. And Eleazar is one of the best you can find… if anyone can get into Jasper, it's him," I calmed her, and stopped my pacing as it seemed to stress her too.

"But still… do we even know if he really needs therapy?" she questioned. "I mean yes, he did sound like there was some bad things in his past, but shouldn't he be a part of this decision?" she tried, and gave me her well known pleading eyes, but that wasn't going to work this time.

"Esme," I sighed, and tried to collect my thoughts, as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Jasper, is a confused, hurt and stubborn teenager. At this point, he doesn't really know what he needs, but what he do know is he wants to act strong. If we talked with Jasper about this, he would just say no, just because we suggested it, and it's a sign on weakness where he comes from. It's best just to tell him this is how it is, and unless Eleazar tells me he don't need therapy, I am going to make sure he is there at every session," I said firmly, and knew I would carry him if I had to.

"If that's how you feel," she muttered sadly, and shook her head. "But I am warning you, he might not like this, and we both know our relationship with him could get even worse…"

"He already hates us," I interrupted with a huff, and could still remember his words from last night. About the rich people, and the invisible.

"Still… just try to tell him nicely, and make sure it doesn't sound like a punishment," she sighed, and shook her head. "And don't be too hard on him today. We just got him home, I don't want him to leave already," she said sadly, and was a momma bear as always. I knew that deep down she thought he deserved this too, but she would always be protective, not matter what they did.

"I promise he will only get what he deserves," I told her, and gave her a kiss before she left.

It was already twelve, and all the children left hours ago. The original plan was to make a fishing trip today, just us guys, but Jasper destroyed that idea as soon as he decided to go out and drink. Instead, all of the children went over to Bella's today, and took a hiking trip, so we could go out on that fishing trip tomorrow. They all knew I needed privacy for what was going to happen, and even Esme left to have tea with Sue and Emily.

To be honest I was pissed off.

After I realized it was past Jaspers curfew last night, I tried to call, but no one answered. It actually went straight to voicemail, which meant it didn't have any battery, or he just turned it off. After that, Emmett and I went outside to look for him, as I still hoped he just got lost, but after searching an half hour things were clear.

He tricked me.

I tried to trust him, and instead he fooled me and broke my trust. I didn't even have to consider the options, I already knew he was somewhere, getting drunk. I have to admit I was nervous, and scared he got into a fight with someone… or drank too much, but I had no idea how to find him. I even called Charlie, but he couldn't think of where he would be either, and so I was left with nothing to do.

That was why I was still awake when he got home. I couldn't just make myself sleep, not before I knew he was safe, and I was relieved to see him alive…

And drunk.

I could barely make myself think of the things he said, and how honest he sounded for once. It made sense why he felt left behind, and even though all those words hurt me to hear, it gave me a bit more insight of Jasper as a person. I already knew he had been through a lot, but I never imagined it would leave him so broken and shattered.

But he was too drunk last night to listen to any kind of scolding, or even realize what he did was wrong. He was actually so drunk he didn't know how much he drank, and in the end I had to put him to bed, which was easier said than done. He had already fell asleep on the stairs, so I had to drag him up to his room, and remove his jeans and jacket. If he had been five it would have been easy enough, but a huge teenager was a different matter.

Not that he woke at any point.

With a sigh I decided the peace was over, and it was time for him to wake up. I didn't like when my kids slept past twelve o'clock, but Jasper was in need of some sleep, but at the same time he wasn't going to sleep all day.

Knowing the third world war would break out in a few minutes, I enjoyed my last minutes as a human, and walked upstairs. When I reached Jaspers room on the third floor, I even considered if this was a stupid idea, but I needed to face this at some point.

So carefully I opened the door, and saw the boy was asleep, just where I left him _early _this morning. This was actually the only place where he looked peaceful, and a stranger wouldn't know how troubled he was, they would just think he was like any other boy.

With disgust, I realized his whole room smelled of alcohol and smoke, just like it owner, who was lightly snoring. He really didn't smell great when I put him to bed either, but I didn't think it would affect his whole room, or be this bad in the morning.

Already tired in my mind, I went over and opened his window, to let some fresh air inside. It didn't seem to wake him, so I deiced to give him a few seconds more, as I went through all the shopping bags from yesterday, and found something he could wear. It was clear he didn't want any of it, but his own clothes was worn out, and I wasn't going to let him see them anytime soon.

"Jasper," I called softly, and placed my hand on his shoulder to wake him.

The only response I got was a groan, as he rolled away from me, and was back to sleep before I could say anything.

"Jasper it's time to get up," I tried again, and shook his shoulder a bit more firmly this time, and with a sigh he finally opened his eyes irritated.

"What?" he groaned, and tried to hide his eyes as it came into contact with light.

"It's time to get up," I repeated, and wondered if he was like this every morning. "It's already late, and you and I have a lot to discuss," I told him a bit more firmly, as I hoped it would make him wake up… or at least get a bit nervous, but it didn't seem to have any reaction.

"Well I have nothing to discuss with you, so leave me alone," he mumbled, and tried to close his eyes again, but with a hand I lifted his back, and made him sit up.

"Get up now, or things will get a lot worse," I ordered firmly, and was tired of this game. He was already in enough trouble as it was, and I didn't want to fight about this too.

"Fine!" he hissed, and looked irritated at me. "Just give me five fucking minutes!" he cursed, and went over the edge. On any another day, I might have been a bit more nice, but today I would make sure he knew just how displeased I was about his behavior and actions.

"Well sorry to say it, but you don't have five minutes, so get up, and stop cursing!" I scolded, and gave him a hard stare. "Now here are some clothes, so go and take a shower, because you stink of alcohol and smoke! Afterward I want to see you in the kitchen, and don't try to run, or it will be worse for you," I warned him, and didn't even give him time to answer, before I walked out of his room.

Today I had to show him what happened when you broke my rules, and with Jasper it wouldn't help to sugarcoat anything, or try to be nice about the whole thing. It would be better to be strict, and make sure he knew exactly how I felt.

After I heard that he indeed was taking a shower, I went downstairs to make him some kind of breakfast. I doubted he wanted anything, and even more make it himself, but he was going to eat something… just a bit at least. I knew there was no point in trying to make him eat bacon or eggs, so I decided some toast would do for today.

Along with that I placed a glass of water and orange juice at his seat, and found a few pills he might need. Along with them was some vitamins, and something for the head, as he didn't look too well. Somewhere in my head I didn't think he deserved any of it, but I needed him to be at least near clear headed, if I can make sure he never did this again.

It took him twenty minutes before I heard his footsteps on the stairs, slowly making their way to the kitchen. My own children tended to be slow too, if they knew there was trouble ahead, but Jasper just seemed half asleep when he finally arrived, and rubbed his eyes tired. He was wearing the blue jeans and green shit I gave him, and looked much cleaner.

"Take I seat," I ordered, and pointed on his seat with the food. He looked more than disgusted as he saw the food, and looked on me like I was joking, as he sat down.

"You are not expecting me to eat _that_?" he asked in a serious tone, and looked at the plate like I was trying to feed him his head.

"Yes I do, at least if you want these," I sighed, and showed him the pills, that suddenly made his eyes light up like a Christmas tree.

"Come on, I don't need to eat toast to take those small things," he tried, and thought he could fool a doctor… but I wasn't going to give in that easy, or at all.

"After yesterday, you clearly need to regain your strength, and I am not allowing you to take these pills on an empty stomach," I explained rather irritated, and wondered how often he took pills without eating first? I decided it would be best if they stayed in my hands, while he ate.

"Look it's just pills, not a life or death situation or something!" he tried irritated, as his head clearly wasn't very nice right now, and he probably had a huge headache.

"Exactly, so you won't die from eating the toast first, and I am not giving up on this, so you better start eating," I told him sternly, and wasn't going to move one inch with him today.

Finally he gave up with a sigh, and began to eat, as I read the newspaper for the second time that day. I mostly just wanted to stare at him, to make sure he didn't try anything, but everyone deserved to eat in peace.

When he finally finished, and drank his juice and water too, I allowed him to take the pills. I knew it would take a few minutes before they kicked in, so I told him to clean his dishes, and finished the newspaper as he did.

"Let's go to my office," I ordered, and walked behind him as he climbed the stairs slowly. He looked irritated the whole way, as he just wanted me to leave him alone, but I wasn't going to leave him alone before this was solved.

"Take a seat," I told him, and pointed to the seat in front of my desk… _the hot seat_ as my kids preferred to call it. But where they always looked nervous, Jasper just plopped down in a way that said, _I don't care about any of this_.

But I knew he would before this was over.

Normally I think he would have said at least five remarks by now, with way too much attitude, but I guess his hangovers were too big to argue for now. Some people would perhaps say I should wait a day, so he could get time to get over it, but he decided to drink and now he had to face the consequences.

"So Jasper, why don't you start by telling me _exactly_ what happened yesterday?" I suggested, and thought an earnest confession would be a good start. "And I want to hear everything, from where you were, to who you were with, and to how you got the alcohol, because I know it wasn't with you," I said sternly, and made it clear there would be no excuses… I wanted the truth.

With a scowl on his face, he stared at me like I was insane, or at least very stupid for a human being. Of course I knew he wouldn't just tell, but I was hoping it wouldn't take too much anger from my side to convince him.

"And if I don't want to tell any of it?" he asked, and didn't look like he could think clearly yet, but at least clear enough to tell me what happened last night.

"If you don't you are going to get the spanking as you know you will, but on top of that I won't allow you outside anymore, unless you have someone with you," I informed him, and saw the irritation begin to rise again in his eyes. "Jasper if you can't even tell me where you have been, or with who, how I am supposed to trust you?" I asked, and tried to explain my reasons.

"Can't you just ignore it?" he asked angry, like it was a crime I cared for him. "My earlier foster parents didn't care… they just accepted it! Can't you just do the same thing, or is that too hard for you?" he asked hateful, and crossed his arms.

This was going to be a long day.

"Jasper I care because I am your uncle, and you are my responsibility," I sighed, and felt like we had been through this before. "I don't know how your former foster parents have been, but I do care very much about you, and your wellbeing, and to do that, I need to know where you have been," I informed him, and fought an inner battle to keep my emotions in control.

"But it not your business!" he exclaimed frustrated, and was beginning to show his temper.

"Yes it is," I sighed. "As long as you are a minor and live under my roof, your business is my business,"

"But I am still not going to tell you about last night!" he hissed, almost like he thought it was a threat to me.

"Then you must remember you can't leave the house without company," I reminded him, and saw how his face fell a bit, as he remembered that.

"For how long?" he asked with an ugly grimace, and looked like an angry five year old.

"Until you have gained my trust," I answered. "Last night I gave you a chance to prove I could trust you, and by your actions, you proved me very wrong. So until I know I can trust you again, you will be under close observation… unless you just tell me what you want, and perhaps makes me trust you a bit again," I explained, and could see how his was fighting himself.

The problem was Jasper wasn't the social type, and needed to get moments away from everybody once in a while. I knew it was evil, but I was using that as a weapon against him, in order to make choose the right choice. The truth was I wouldn't be able to control Jasper after a few days, but he didn't know that, and thought I was able to follow him every single minute.

He was quiet for minutes, as he thought very hard, and was clearly arguing with himself. I understood very well it wouldn't be fun to be watched all the time, but the only thing he needed to do was to tell the truth…

But then he knew I would be able to find him.

"What do you want to know?" he finally sighed, and gave up.

I almost wanted to make a small dance in triumph, but decided now wouldn't be a good moment, and kept my serious face instead.

"Why don't you give me the story, tell me everything that happened last night, from the moment you walked out of the front door?" I suggested, and gave him a small smile… to show that I wasn't dangerous, and that he could trust me.

"Well I walked out of you front door last night, and got in the cars with the other guys…" he began, but I already had to interrupted him.

"What _guys_? Someone you knew?" I asked, and feared the answer, but I still needed to know. If he jumped into a car with some strangers, I wanted to rip his head off at this spot, especially if he could see how dangerous that could be!

"I met them a few times back in Dallas, and my friend knows them well," he answered, but for some reason I didn't believe him fully.

"And who is this _friend_ of yours?" I asked curious, and couldn't imagine he was any good friend. "Someone I should know about?"

"No… it has nothing with this to do, just someone from Dallas I hang out with," answered Jasper quickly, and I decided to let it rest for now.

"Very well, so you got in the car… and what then?" I asked, and wasn't finished with these _guys_, but I would allow him to give me the full explanation first.

"Then we talked, they gave me the alcohol, and drove back this way, so I could get off before your property… and then I drank," he told, and tried to sound like that was the whole story, but he wasn't going to get through this that easy.

"So you just jumped into someone's car, and got alcohol… but how exactly did you pay?" I asked curious, and hoped for his own good he didn't steal any money from me, or anyone else.

"I got them from my friend back home…" he answered slowly, and was clearly building a lie… but I just needed to find the best way to tear it apart.

"Oh the friend who had nothing to do with this episode, but now is the one who gave you the money?" I asked. "Then why did he give you the money Jasper… was it so you could buy alcohol?" I pressed, and saw how he began to get a bit unsure… most of all I knew more than he probably thought.

"Well… he just gave them to me like a gift… you know, so I could get some things…" he answered weakly, and his lies were slowly being torn apart.

"And with things you mean _alcohol_," I corrected. "Not to mention cigarettes and drugs. Tell me Jasper, this _friend_ of yours, does he drink too?" I questioned, and could already see just how _great_ this _friend _was.

"Well… umm, yes he umm, he is drinks too," he admitted.

"Jasper…" I sighed, and tried to find the best way to say this. "I don't really think this _friend_ has the best influence on you, and I would prefer if you didn't have any contact…"

"Hey he is my friend!" interrupted Jasper, and looked ready to protect this person with his life. "I choose to drink, not him, he just gave me some money okay?"

"But he gave you the money so you could buy alcohol?" I questioned, and raised my eyebrow.

"Well yes he did… but it's still my choice," he defended, and was already beginning to show his temper once more.

"It is, but I still believe he has a bad influence on you, and encourages you do to make wrong choices. I know it's hard, but sometimes it better to leave someone behind, at least if they don't have your best interest in mind," I tried to explain him, and hoped he would listen to reason.

I knew this _friend_ was more to Jasper than one would think, even if he had a bad influence on him, and did bad things. In fact this wasn't exactly what we went upstairs to talk about, but it was just as important, especially with the little information I had.

"Look he is my friend, and I won't cut him off just because you ask me to!" said Jasper firmly, and was fighting very hard for this _friend_. "He has no influence on me, he is just a friend, and the closest I come to a brother, so stop telling me what to do with him!"

"Then why don't you tell me his name?" I suggested, and knew that was a sore point. "If he is like a brother to you, we should invite him to come and stay for a while? Give me his name I can contact his parents… I am sure that would be great for both of you?" I tried, but my intentions were clear for Jasper, just like the truth was clear for me.

"I don't want him to meet you," he hissed, as he felt trapped in a corner. "And why are we even talking about him… this is not about him!"

I decided to ignore his question, and dig a little deeper into this _friend_. To be honest I already knew the truth, and I already knew he wasn't a friend, but more someone Jasper admired, and followed like a loyal dog. I actually knew exactly who this friend was, but I wanted to make Jasper admit it on his own.

"Well, if he is your friend… then tell me what you do when you hang out?" I questioned, and saw the irritation burn in Jaspers eyes like fire.

"Stuff okay! We just do boy stuff, and this is completely irrelevant… I fucking messed up last night, so let's talk about that instead!" he growled, and couldn't hide his anger much longer.

But the more he tried to get out of this topic, the more clearly it showed there were deep roots here. Just the fact he wanted me to talk about last night instead, proved there were worse things here that he didn't want me to know about, but the truth was I already knew a lot of it.

"Jasper we are speaking about last night… but if we only spoke about last night, I know you would be out drinking tomorrow again. So instead we are speaking about your _friend_, because I feel he is more involved in this than you want me to believe, and we need to get to the bottom of this. Last night was just the edge of the sea, and I believe there is so much more underneath it… and this friend is a part of it. I know your habits won't change just like that, not unless I know where this started… so tell me, was it this friend who made you start drinking?" I asked, and leaned back in my seat as I awaited his answer.

Our conversation seemed so complicated right now, because I still didn't understood everything, and was trying to understand when everything started. I could only guess this _friend_ started it all, but I couldn't be sure.

"Look yes… he kind of was there, but I made my own decision, so just leave the topic," he snarled, and was so frustrated he didn't know what questions to answer anymore. Jasper might seem like he was hard to break, but right now he was trapped in a corner, and couldn't find out which answers would be wise and stupid to answer.

"Give me a name," I demanded, and felt sorry because I needed to have this conversation with him on the second day.

There was actually a lot I knew about Jasper, that he didn't know about yet, but at first I promised myself to wait until my father was here. What I didn't see coming was Jaspers stunt last night, as I thought it would take him more than two days to do something like this, but I now I didn't have a choice and needed to open this topic.

"I am not giving you any fucking name… he is my friend, stay out of it!" he hissed, and looked like he wanted to attack someone… not that it would happen.

"Very well," I sighed, and opened my desk drawer and found the file J. Jenks gave to me. It wasn't thick, but held a few reports and information's, along with some photos of this _friend_ and Jasper.

I found a few pictures I placed in front of Jasper, one with him beating another guy. And another where he and this _friend_ were clearly taking illegal drugs, and one of the _friend_ accepting money from another man.

I could see how Jasper got paler and paler for every second, as he scanned the pictures, and realized he was busted.

"Jasper I already know you are a part of a drug ring, and as easy as I got these pictures, I am surprised you haven't been arrested yet. From the information I could get, _this_," I said, and pointed on the picture of him. "Is you... also called _The Major_, and this man," I said, and pointed on his friend. "Is the one they call _The Captain_, or his birth name, _Peter Sawyer_… in other words your boss. This is a man who sells drugs to young kids and addicts, and should be behind bars… Jasper this is a man you are working for!"

I gave him a few minutes to think, as he stared on the pictures, and realized I knew everything. All his secrets were wasted along with his lies, as I knew exactly how he got the money to buy alcohol and drugs last night… but he needed to say it out loud.

"So tell me Jasper, where did you get the money?" I asked, and knew who controlled this game now.

* * *

So first of all i am sorry for the slow updates, but my art school ends soon, and i have a lot of projects going on.

Now i know this chapter was a bit confusing, and they never really got to speak about what actually happened the night before, but Carlisle knows he has to go deeper down, and he knows more than Jasper just think. Everything will be explained more in next chapter.

Now thanks to my wonderful beta, and thanks to all of you who reviews. It means so much to me, so please do so once more, and i will do my best to update soon :D

REVIEW! :D


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